Mom and Law Student?

dream jobs

2011-12-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

dream jobs be careful what you wish for.... I had an interview for my dream job that fell through a year & a half ago, they have an opening again.... kind of. It's a federal job and they have permission to interview but not hire...yet. At least I know how it works now & I am not getting my hopes up but they did call me back in & I don't think they are interested in wasting their time so I don't know what to think. I got myself all worked up for the interview but it was all the same people who interviewed me last time. Instead of bombarding me with all the "so tell us about yourself" kind of questions it was "so what have you been doing since we last saw you?" ..... Now more waiting.....

In the meantime I am working at a school so I have 12 school days off!! I get to stay home w/ my monkey for her entire winter break for the first time ever, SWEET!! and I am almost done with shopping so I get to be lazy, sleep in, watch movies, and bake. If I get the dream job and actually get to start working there (this time) I'll at least be well rested. Fingers crossed.

I'm alive and kicking?

2011-11-25T17:52:00.000-08:00

I haven't been writing or using my brain in a while so please forgive the rambling, poor grammar, etc.

Alive? yes. Kicking? umm not so much but I've come out of wallowing for the most part. Since losing my dream job (which I never really had) and becoming a law school drop-out I've been stuck in an early(?) mid-life crisis, I'm 37. Fortunately I don't look my age (or act it) so that's one big plus I have going for me. I quit my awful soul crushing insurance job and I have been working (hanging out) in special education as a classroom assistant for peanuts. Seriously the pay is shameful I don't know how the single people manage but it does have medical insurance and I need medical. DH is still a contract employee. I am glad he is working but he has no benefits. I was not offered another corporate job after half-hearty trying so I went running back to my past, being a caregiver for the disabled. I would not call it teaching. The students I work with are so medically fragile and low functioning if anything I am a glorified CNA.

I'm an out-of-state credentialed teacher but I have no motivation for becoming credentialed in my state. I know this is only temporary. None of my moves to find paying work in public interest panned out and because I need insurance and a paycheck (albeit small) I can not do the volunteer work that may or most likely not lead to any real job offer. I called one free legal services agency with weekend clinic hours that I used to do pro bono work for and they told me they had no available hours, they are fully staffed with volunteers!!

With so many out of work law school grads and super paralegals clamoring to work for free. I've been doing some soul searching and considering other careers, teaching, some kind of therapy (speech, OT etc). As much as I try to quit it law still calls to me like a bad habit or a bad boyfriend you can't get out your head.

Two experiences pulled me back and gave me a taste of what excited me in the first place. I was called up for jury duty and spent six days being vetted (a questionnaire, call backs and three days of voir dire) for a serial killer trial. I loved being in a courthouse. I was excused for cause by the state (surprise, surprise!). Between my views on the death penalty & being a former paralegal I was dead in the water & was never going to be on that jury but I still had to go through the show. And what a show it was!! I just got a glimpse of some awesome lawyers at work and damn were they good!

The second experience was the school I work for was telling us classroom aides that we did not get breaks. I tried to tell them I was a paralegal but it didn't seem to register with them. The administration are complete bullies. I made one phone call to the union and whahla we now all have breaks. I have kept track of all the days I was denied a break and I'm considering pursing compensation. I am legally entitled to one hour of pay for every missed break but I know it just takes away more $ from the students. Another case of schools mismanaging tax $$...by pulling stupid stunts like this.

It has been an interesting experience being treated so badly, for the most part it just rolls off my back. At this age I know myself well enough that I have nothing to prove to administrators or teachers their comments fall on deaf ears. Classroom aides are treated for the most part like loser high school drop-outs, warm bodies, too uneducated to do anything better with themselves. The last time I was so consistently condescended to was when I was waiting tables in my early twenties. It made me angry that people are taken advantage of and/or just too intimidated to fight for their rights. I remembered what made me love the law and in particular made me become enamored with the idea of becoming a lawyer. It's because nothing puts the fear in people like a lawsuit, or an investigation, or an audit.

It's an intoxicating and powerful feeling to have skills to stick it to people who take advantage of others. I know it's just a break but it's the principle also, I mean really?!? It's 15 minutes for people who work their asses off in special education with kids no one else wants or could even handle working with and you can't give them a break? a chance to rest? Even though it is against the law not to do so! Anyway it fired me up. I had my aha moment. I remembered why I even attempted to embarked on this crazy journey.

So I started interviewing again, unfortunately they are corporate positions b/c they are they only ones who will call me back. I swear I should have majored in Spanish. A friend at a non-profit invited me to apply for a position but I didn't even get an interview. I didn't have enough litigation experience or second language skills & they hire by committee.

The agency which broke my heart a year and a half ago is hiring again although my contact there is in a different department now I am trying again. I know they at least looked at my application b/c one of my documents didn't go through and the chief paralegal emailed me to ask for it. It's a slim, slim, slim chance I'll even get an interview but I have to try.

With story after story I hear about unemployed legal professionals and law school grads who would happily give their degrees back for a tuition refund it's hard not be discouraged but we'll see how this all works out. In the meantime I work close to home and I work the same hours that monkey is in school. I have been able to spend lots of time with her and that has been great!!!!!!

And as for you law Every time I think I'm out.... - you pull me back in!

Wait, wait and wait some more

2010-08-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm down to 3 days a week at current job (my choice). I barely do anything but try to look busy. The pay is not too bad (for this economy), I have benefits but yet I still want to leave. I'm learning nothing about anything I either care about or want to continue to work in, in the future. Since no one reads this blog I'll say it, I work in insurance and I hate it. I was laid off the same day as about 200 other big law people & the recruiters told me that I was soooo lucky to get this job. But I can't stand insurance, it was only going to be for a year at the most and it's been over a year and a half. I really tried to take an interest in it but every time I hear words like broker/producer/loss ratio/claims/medical review I want to either hurl or fall asleep.

The feds (my almost dream job) most likely (99% likely) do not have the money to hire me for the job I was originally offered. They got less money approved for their budget than they asked for and they aren't going to create the position after all. So I spent a good half hour on the phone the other night, cajoling/ begging them to offer me anything else. Clerical support, secretary, I don't care, I'm not too proud, it doesn't have to be paralegal. The only thing that looks promising is some contract work in the same office but a different unit. I have to wait until next week to find out if that might happen. No benefits and temporary but I would still take it in a heart beat. So I wait some more.......

In the meantime I'm really enjoying the extra time w/ monkey. She is the sweetest thing ever. DH is good, he loves his crazy far away job and is having a great time, if it only offered benefits me leaving for contract work wouldn't be such a big deal. As fall approaches though it feels like it's not just the kids who need to go back to school. Mommy needs some intellectual stimulation too. So I wait some more.......

Still Kicking

2010-07-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

Waiting to hear if I am going to get the job that was offered to me or not. I MAY get some more news today. In the meantime DH got a job!!! woohoo!! It doesn't pay that much & it is ridiculously far away and I mean really really far, like he is driving 5 hours day. But it's in the field he wants and he is hella excited to be there everyday which is so great b/c he was rejected from both of the early transfer programs he applied to for the fall. Both cited record number of applicants for the reason he was not getting a spot, but still it stung. If he didn't have this job & was only headed back to Community College this fall it would have been a lot harder to take.

Well at least one of our careers is headed in the right direction, mine has sputtered to a halt. As I wait and wait to see if the funds are going to be there for me in the fall. Also b/c DH is never home now I cut my work hours, which has amazingly reduced my panic attacks & depression, go figure. I had asked just to cut off an 1-2 hours a day, but only in bizarre corporate world with employee handbooks which are sacred texts not to be questioned, challenged or changed does it make more sense for me to work three (3) full days instead. So being that was all they would do, I took it. I'm paying through the nose for preschool w/ before & after school care ($900 a month) for 3 days a week.... strange. I am mostly working for the medical benefits and daycare. It is fun for the summer a lot of her friends are home for the summer & we have some plans and play dates on the 2 weekdays I am home, but I am still anxious.

I still really want this job so much so it has ruined all other job prospects for me. I look at other ads and I am not motivated, I can't bring myself to apply (not that there are many job ads to even apply to). I am kind of hoping to get laid off, even though 2 lay offs in a row would suck on my resume. I had to do a lot of explaining on why I was laid off in my interview, it was like wow you people really do work for the government, b/c being laid off ain't nothing in this economy... I explained & explained and finally just said "it was the real estate market & credit freeze", which is was and left it at that. My references were great, I think that was a major reason I got the unofficial offer that now may be no offer at all.

I'm rambling... so while the summer is fun, by fall I want my career to be in a different place. I screwed up at work yesterday after saving the company several hundred dollars that morning I promptly lost it with a fine (on my screw up) that we are probably not going to be able to get out of.... major ooops! and reducing my hours was a major flag to company saying wow if she can do her job in 3 days, do we need her at all? I knew that was a major risk w/ going p/t but I also commute and someone has to be w/ our child, so family first....

Anywho, I am still kicking

And this administration is anti-torture

2010-06-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

Are you kidding? Two panel interviews, where I sat at the head of a conference table and had questions hurled at me for an hour, my references where called and I was verbally offered the job, talked benefits, start dates... but oops now funding has hit a "snafu." Are you kidding???

I thought big law was a bureaucracy? Nope.. HELLO government!

Now there is a 50/50 chance of no job at all. I feel sick; socked in the stomach; sucker punched; the rug pulled out and every other phrase you can think of. But the worst thing? This job has completely ruined all other job prospects, this was the ONE, the one I want/wanted so much.... I need to go get drunk now : (

Waiting

2010-05-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

My start date got pushed out until....?? Waiting for the funding to come through. Although everything looks like it's good to go, they are waiting on official funding to give me a new start date.

It's a government position, I am really excited and I am dying. Either way I'm 99% sure I am giving my notice before I have a firm start date. I could be really screwing myself but I'm just done and sometimes you need to just make new things happen. But it's really scary DH just finished school for the semester and is out for the summer. He has a couple of job leads but no job yet. So there is the potential that we could both be out of work w/ no income and a very limited amount of funds to survive on....

But husband asked me today "which one causes you more stress the idea of being out of work or having to continue to work where you are?" Hands down to continue to go to work at the place I'm at now, causes me the most stress. The economy has just sucked so much, but you can only tell yourself "I'm lucky at least I have a job" for so long and still believe it...

Since this more of a rant post anyway, don't holiday weekends suck when you are waiting to find out big job news?

epilogue

2010-05-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

Epilogue or new chapter? I am not sure or as I would say the jury is out (so corny, I know). For the last 8 months or so I have been in a deep depression. I left law school. I didn't even make it through finals. Since then I have been deeply depressed and thinking about what to do next. I HATE my job! I have trying to make the best of it and trying to be grateful that I found it before my Big Law severance ran out. But it sucks! It is the most boring practice area ever! and it's in house so no pro bono work and it is a very punch the clock, talk about how close it is to Friday all week long sort of place. Also being in super conservative corporate land when you want to be in non profit is Hell! People are so conservative & can't keep their traps shut, there is a reason I don't listen to faux news and I don't want to hear that crap at work!

As to why I quit school, so many reasons. I had to admit to myself I was trying to do too much. Any woman who works full-time, has a big commute, attends law school at night and has a young child at home, I truly bow at your feet. The Socratic method caused intense anxiety and flashbacks. It's embarrassing b/c I thought I was strong enough to deal w/ my issues. I think if I had more time to devote to school and if I didn't have to work so much maybe things would have worked out differently but for right now, school is a no go.

I have been contemplating giving up on law entirely. I been thinking about working directly w/ people again in some sort of teaching or social services area. But then I applied on a fluke for a paralegal position in public interest. I NEVER thought I would get it and I am still sort of in shock. I don't have the official offer letter yet but I've been told baring some freak loss of funding the position is mine. Not sure how much I want to share yet but it ain't going to be boring in fact it's probably about as intense and as high stakes as you can get. I haven't given notice to current job yet and my tentative start date is over a month away.

I'm excited and nervous. This is going to be my blank or get off the law job pot.

HALF

2009-09-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

Half way/ half a**. Half a** at work, half a** at school, and half a** post. That is the theme for this week. It's how I'm making it through this crazy schedule. The trick is being able to find just the right balance of half. It helps if you are good at prioritizing, which I am, but this is taking it to a whole new level. I love the phrase "working smarter not harder", it sounds so much better than half a**.

Cute kid moment (I get to see them in person so rarely now).. My dad taught Monkey to say she wants to be a lawyer when she grows up (or in her words "get big"), he thinks it's cute.. I drew the line at teaching her to say she wants to drive a BMW.. but anyway, we were at a restaurant and a woman was fawning over Monkey "oh how cute, she is beautiful" kinda stuff, then she asks Monkey "are you a princess", to which Monkey replied "I'm going to a lawyer like my mommy!"......... I told her she could be a lawyer & a princess....

Busy Busy Bee

2009-09-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm a mess. I have been so freakin busy this week w/ work & school, in two days I managed to: 1) run out of gas on the freeway and 2) forget my cell phone at a restaurant, realizing that after we had made it all the way home. The gas thing was a pisser, I couldn't believe it. I haven't run out of gas since I was 16! I thought I had learned my lesson. DH had to come get me b/c I was at some weird spot on a freeway merge ramp thing & no way could I have given directions to AAA, husband barely found me. It was another 2 hours in the car.

I've been at school late every night this week. I had to go the this mandatory Lexis & Westlaw training (indoctrination) which was a complete waste of time. It seriously should have been done in orientation, I learned nothing. More cheap free crap w/ their names on it. We are getting into legal research soon, I am wondering if anyone is going to tell us that there are alternatives to these two companies (rarely used but still) like books or Findlaw.

And then the keys, exhausted I went out to dinner w/ the parents, DH & monkey, then left my phone. DH went and got. He has been so sweet through all of these craziness, for two nights in a row I have running all over the place to clean up after me.

I have had a ruff first month! but I am entering into Week 6. This week's puzzler why is rent privity of estate? but leases are contracts (privity of contract) rent just seems like it should be PK? I'm confused......

Just Random

2009-09-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I am too busy/brain drained to write a themed post so here are just some
random thoughts from the past few weeks, poorly prosed:

*When people tell you there is no way to prepare for law school, it's
pretty much true. My suggestion would be to go work as a legal
assistant, paralegal or whatever as long as it's in an office with a
lot of lawyers and then ask yourself, "do I really want to be one of them?"
b/c after only 3 weeks I can already see that law school is really not like the real thing.

*My p/t program has a rep as being a back door into a good school and I
finding out that it's kinda true, I was surprised that at least 1/3 to
1/2 of my class is made up of people still in their 20s & given the
cars they drive I would say having to go p/t because they have to work
f/t is questionable, it doesn't bother me that they don't have to work and fancy cars,
I made my choices, but it does bother me that I'm on a curve w/ them. It
seems very unfair and I'm trying not to be bitter.

*Reading for 6 plus hours without any break or even looking up out of
you book is not recommended. I gave myself a killer dizzy nauseous
headache episode last weekend.

*I feel like I now know what it would be like to be a parent w/ weekend
visitation but even they probably see their kids more than I do right now.
The little time I have w/ her I want to be all fun, so I am buying her stuff,
taking her to special places, giving her ice cream and chocolate chip pancakes and
hugging and kissing on her so much she has started to push away
(and she is a very cuddly kid)..this week I am taking a half day off
of work so we can all go to an amusement park.

*The secret lawyer language is now becoming unraveled, I can now use
the terms color of title, adverse possession, trespass to chattels,
and manifestation of mutual assent, way more confidently now than I
ever did as a paralegal...

*Transfer of intent is my tort curve ball for the week, I left crap on
your lawn and you hurt yourself stepping on it, not only did I
trespass I committed a battery? say what?

Not melting down

2009-08-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

not melting down at the moment. I had a meeting with the campus counselor and cried for 30 minutes! It was the 1st time I have ever cried in a therapists office, right after that appointment was my appointment w/ the Kingsfield professor. I must have looked one hot mess. But the crazy worked and it was a simple, "you should work on that but I won't call on you, you can volunteer conversation." It's a strange thing, not having to worry about what your professors think of you, at all. They only grade your exams which are totally blind. Given how little I speak in class there is no way one of them could know which exam is mine.

I really should have dealt with this issue more before school (toastmasters, more therapy, something), but I really underestimated how much it was going to debilitate me. The professors definitely acted as though, I am far from being the first student of theirs to have this issue and they said as much. Now that my anxiety level is coming down, I really need to catch up. My fears were keeping me from working and concentrating on the first couple of weeks. I'm not even into week 3 and I feel really behind! Now that I know how each professor organizes their class it makes it much easier to tackle the work, why do they give so much work the 1st week? I mean, you really have no idea what you should be looking for, thinking about, or how to pace yourself.
It seems a little sadistic, welcome to law school.

melt down

2009-08-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

already? well sort of, just about the Socratic method. I have had treatment in the past for depression & anxiety. More than shyness I am phobic about public speaking even when I have a script in front of me. One class doesn't do random calling out, others I am hoping to strike an understanding with the professors that I will volunteer instead. One professor though I am going to speak to next week, his class is full on Socratic - I can't sleep, and I am having panic attacks. I missed a day of work and one class already b/c of it. I didn't trust myself to drive, I had gotten so little sleep I was seeing things (not really there) out of the corners of my eye. He strikes me as someone though who is not going to take me seriously. I am just afraid. I don't know that for certain. I have counseling appointment before I am going to talk to him. I have already thought about leaving school, I don't want to. I actually like the work, I like the reading, I like the writing. I don't ever, EVER see myself in court, negotiating, or anything like the traditional lawyer you see on TV. I would be happy to be in an office for hours and hours, just reading, writing and analyzing, or even not practicing and working in more of an administrative capacity, like a directer at non profit.... but we'll see I won't get a chance to talk to Prof. Kingsfield until next week and until then I am suffering, no sleep, stomach problems and chest pains! ugghhhhhh

the first day of school is tomorrow!

2009-08-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

Remember when your biggest worry was what to wear? Well I'm kinda missing those days!!

Did I mention I think it's weird to have all these reading assignments and not have a clue what my professors are like. I'm pushing through all this dense material, which I barely understand (is that normal?) and I'm not sure, am I preparing enough? what am I looking for? what should I be giving the most attention to? Should I be trying harder to understand every bit of it or is the general idea, okay?

So here is my weekend in a nutshell:

Friday 6:30pm - home, 1/2 hour dinner break, read until 11pm, bed

Saturday 8am, coffee, read, eat at computer, husband takes monkey to grandma's house, read, husband comes home with pizza for lunch, watch half of Ironman movie with him, stop movie to have "special time" together (we'll be lucky to keep that once week), back to reading,read some more, husband picks up monkey brings her home and puts her to bed, 10pm watch rest of Ironman, bed at 11, go to sleep 12.

Sunday 8am coffee, read until 10am, go get pedicure, read while getting pedicure, 11:30 can't read another word! go pickup monkey & husband we go out for pancakes, then Target, let monkey play with toys while I pick up more highlighters, I buy monkey a doctor kit, new crayons, and a princess wand (I think I am overcompensating), come home put in movie for monkey,

3pm and I'm tired!

I feel guilty for not doing more work today, but my eyes and brain are tired, and I feel a little frustrated that I'm finding the reading so difficult. I am even struggling with my property reading and I used to work in real estate. I already know what an easement is and what an encroachment is. I am trying to take advantage of the "light week" this week, and rest today and trying to tell myself that this is a marathon, not race, no sense in burning myself out the 1st few weeks. I finished all but 3 pages of reading that is not due until Thursday. But I have this nagging feeling that I didn't really "get" enough of the reading. I worried I skimmed too much, took too much from canned briefs, not enough of my own analysis, and won't be able to apply anything I read in a hypothetical that is thrown at me. Also I don't really have any time in the week, all my work needs to be done on the weekends. But if I am going to be humiliated in class via the Socratic method I guess the 1st week is the week to do it.

First Days

2009-08-13T18:03:00.001-07:00

Almost done with orientation, tonight is the last night. There has been some good information sprinkled in, but I think I am done with "yes it is as hard as you fear it is, but it's worth it" pep talks. Is that really supposed to be a"pep" talk? I haven't slept more than average of 5 hours a night since orientation started. I am borderline delirious, I can't slept whenever I do something new, I get too nervous and anxious. So I am kind of thinking trial lawyer is out, I would never sleep the nights before going to court. I would just babble incoherently at the court.

Computer training was excruciating, I spent the last half of it helping the person next to me. Really? you could have just mailed me the log-ins and instructions. I think computer trainings should be sectioned out by skill level.

I don't mean to sound negative b/c I am excited. I am just tried and feeling a little overwhelmed I just counted the pages of reading I have next week. 103 with a writing assignment and that's the "light first week".

I am also a little annoyed at how many people keep saying "you should really try to limit your work hours or just not work". WHAT? what is the point of an evening program then? I have to believe an employer who looks at a resume that has nothing on it except for p/t law school and maybe some volunteering, is going to notice. I think it looks kind of lazy. I heard that from someone last night, who would come to school everyday at noon and just study until class? What are you going to tell people in an interview? "Like Dude I got to sleep in and be in the top 5% ".

Also the reality of how little I am going to see my monkey is hitting me, making me a little sad, but I glad I am here. I won't be the mom who always wondered "what if I went to law school"...

Cry Baby

2009-08-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

I cried at work, I don't know what happened. The last time I cried at work was when I was laid off and was saying goodbye to my co-workers. Other than that, I have cried after work plenty of times at home but not at work. I was having an exceptionally bad day and this nasty woman just set me off, luckily she is not in my office but instead ripped me a new one over the phone. I didn't tear up until I got off the phone. I tried to go to the bathroom and get myself together, but it didn't work. I chocked up in front of two people then left for an early lunch, and had a melt down in my car. It has been bothering me all weekend. I am pissed at myself that this woman who is just nasty, mean and crazy, and not anyone I have any respect for was able to get to me. Lawyers aren't supposed to cry and I feel personally responsible to all woman, not to play into stereotypes about "emotional females". I searched "DO WOMEN LAWYERS CRY" and came up with a couple of things that made me feel better:
Ms. JD
Presumed Equal

Anyone else have any embarrassing crying moments at work?

denied for being a loser that stiffs libraries

2009-07-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

My student loan application was denied last week. I was so upset I couldn't even write about it until it was somewhat close to being resolved. Why?. .. b/c of bankruptcy, default, a lien, judgement, string of credit card charge offs? umm No.... b/c of a library fine!! that's right $35.00 in unpaid library fines in a state I moved away from 4.5 years ago. Apparently when the federal government says "no open collections" they mean it! I have worked really hard to clean up my credit and I was able to get everything negative removed except for the library fines, since when did libraries become so freakin ruthless? So I had to call the library, pay the fine, and get them to write me a letter saying the matter has been settled. Luckily everyone I talked to was super nice, I miss Seattle (sometimes), and I got the letter. I faxed it today w/ a request for "reconsideration" and hopefully, fingers crossed this will be the end of it.... I HOPE!

Almost law student

2009-07-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Things are finally gearing up as I hit the 2 week mark. Only 2 weeks until orientation, which I have homework for. HOMEWORK! I've seen the Paper Chase so I knew I would have assignments for the 1st day of class, but for orientation? The assignment is taking a blind stab at briefing a case, there is some direction, but not much. I'm pretty much done. It took me a couple of hours, I'm resisting the urge to look it up b/c it's a fairly famous case there are briefs online. But this one I want to do myself, then I'm sure after school starts I'm not going to have any problems using "canned briefs" to help me out.

SEVENTH HEAVEN & NINETH CIRCLE OF HELL

2009-07-18T11:25:00.000-07:00

A kid's seventh heaven and a parent's ninth circle of hell. This post is about things we do that we never thought we would do, and then we had children. I sometimes think the changes we experience when we reproduce are akin to a lobotomy. Example supplied in the following exhibit:

EXHIBIT A: We spend large amounts of $$ to go out into 95 degrees under the hot blazing sun. In this heat we stand in 20 minute lines for 60 seconds of being whipped around in an air conditioned go-cart, to see a barrage of stuffed, plastic, or projected cartoon animals singing, spinning, dancing or jumping out at you. Then after your 60 seconds of fun you are lined up and funneled through the racks upon racks of merchandise for said cartoon animals, where you get to hear "I want that" 900 times and then you're back out into the hot sun all to do over again, and again, and again. You do this until you are starved and dehydrated, and of course never fulling packed or prepared, you are forced to purchase mediocre food & drink that cost more than that fancy restaurant you went to for your last anniversary, and you don't even get the alcohol.

But we love our kids and for at least a day we get to be experience all their excitement and all the love they have for us b/c at least for a day we are the best parents in the world

BANKS SUCK!

2009-07-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

Type BANKS SUCK into google and you will get pages and pages of rants. Here is mine:

It's Tuesday morning @ work. I want more coffee but *the new job* is cheap and their coffee sucks, hence the reason they were able to hire me during a recession, but I wander. So anyway, I am going to go get a cup of coffee across the street but need to check my bank account. We have a whole $179.00 in the bank which must last until Friday. When I looked at the balance I rubbed my eyes, -765.00! WHAT! So I called husband and asked if he bought something w/ paypal recently, nope! Call paypal, had to google to get # (good luck finding it on their site). Someone had purchased a 12 mexapixal camera and shipped it to someone (w/ a different name than the account holder), Rush to Indonesia! Husband jumps to eBay and sure enough 2 more cameras have been bought and are waiting to be shipped.

Long story short Paypal sucks and it takes days to a week? maybe if we are lucky? to get money credited back to us, something about wire transfers! who still wire does wire transfers? Their recommendation? Take the documentation fromPaypal saying it was their fault and plead our case to the bank. I go to my bank which is in my new building at *the new job* (convenient so I think) I tell them story and ask them to please not take the 800+ dollars out of our paychecks that will be direct deposited on Friday and freeze the transaction. Nope! sorry they can't do that b/c lucky me I have overdraft protection of up to $1000 and the money is already gone! Money I didn't have is gone? So basically I owe the bank $800+ dollars! They will issue me a temp credit of funds but I can't access the funds. The only thing it does is stop the additional overdraft charges from racking up during the "weeks" it will take them to do an investigation, then we can get the overdraft fees waived, (b/c I have had such good luck w/ that before) but even the temp. credit takes 48 hours. I ranted, a manager came over and was no help. I told them they could explain their policy all the wanted but it wasn't going to change the fact that they suck; $800 is nothing to them; I didn't authorize this transaction; I signed an affidavit; they are shit for customer service; and I am closing my account. And I didn't even choose to bank w/ you, you took over my bank, one day the signs were all replaced with cheap banners with your stupid name on them. To this they said, "we are sorry to see you go, but we are corporate drones carrying out our inhuman corporate policy, so sorry". Okay maybe not exactly that but still? come on? What am I going to flee the country on $800? So I ran back to work and got my DD stopped and they are cutting me a live check. So to them I say "Ha! screw you BANK, you will not take my messily $800... you may get my tax money you assholes but you will not get my paycheck!!!"

To add insult to injury overdraft fees are still going through as I write this, $9.00 Starbucks = $35.00 fee. My misadventures w/ banks have officially ended. I hate all of you. We are opening an account with a credit union, next it will be under the mattress.

EDIT: My bank has just posted profits that are front page news and overdraft fees are still being added to my account...

Why are you tempting me with this $$$ ???

2009-07-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

So even though I am going to go to law school p/t while working a f/t day job I seem to be eligible for just as much in loans to cover living expenses as f/t students?? I didn't know that. It's like $18,000 a year plus I can get separating funding for daycare and a computer. I was thinking I would just take out a few thousand for a new computer (my laptop is a dinosaur in computer age & randomly stops turning on) and then maybe a little bit for daycare b/c new job has no backup care benefits and plus I need to hire someone to help out around the house a couple hours a month (if I leave it to DH to all the cleaning I may have to kill him)

But it's soooo tempting to take out more, there are all these things I can think of that we need but never have extra $$$ for... hmmmm

I went to a open house thing a couple of weeks ago at my law school (I love writing that!!) and one of the speakers harped on the loan thing saying "a lot of students live like lawyers when they are students and then when they are lawyers they have to live like students" yeah okay I guess you have a point .. but it's still so tempting!!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

2009-07-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

3 day weekends... I think I said this before but I sooo need a 4 day a week job! I was tempted to make it a 4 day weekend but I don't have a lot of PTO time at the new job, so I'm trying to save it for finals.

6 weeks till school starts! I'm making a list of stuff to do before then. It feels like I'm leaving the country or going away to prison, one or the other. A sample of things on the list:

Detail car
Fix air conditioning in car
New glasses
Dentist
Clean bedroom (in particular under the bed)

I'm also trying to spend lots of time w/ my monkey, I sure am going to miss seeing her before she goes to bed 3 nights a week maybe 4. We're off to go see the movie Up today, this is her first movie in a theater...so we'll see if she make it through...

Quiet

2009-07-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't meant to be so quiet. But my work is lame, they have all kinds of weird blocks on the Internet, really I have to get special "manager" access just to be able to pull up legal blogs and anything that had the words shop/shopping/store. It was so annoying! A big part of my job is Internet research, I had them take those off, but I still have a bunch of stuff blocked.

So my point is I have started a couple of posts but I used to be able to edit and post them at my old job. When I get home, and after monkey goes to bed I'm tired and when I read them they sound crazy and rambling.... like this one!

I can access blogs now at work but it was a such a pain to get them to lift the block, I'm super paranoid and worry that I am being monitored. It doesn't stop me from surfing though I just read a lot of news stories, do they really think people are going to be more productive with the blocks?? I'm not used to being treated like a child, I had so much freedom at old job, I miss it : (

Anywho my point is that I didn't mean to be so quiet....

work

2009-05-14T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm rockin it at work. I really hope they pay for law school (fingers crossed.) I decided to think of myself as something of a covert op in the for-profit world. Someday I'll be out there fighting for good instead of evil. I'm exaggerating my company is not really evil.

I have really had the chance to shine there, so far. At Big Firm it was so hard, I was so low on the totem pole. I was giving the most lowly work and when I did anything 50 people had to look at it, find all my typos, extra spaces or incorrect spacing, and then change it to match their style. It wasn't very good for my self esteem. At new job I got a project my first day, I have been running with it and they seem very happy. I've already lost 15 pounds and I am off anti-depressants. Amazing what being busy and having a purpose will do for you!

Already

2009-05-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

I think I've already had a glimpse of who THAT GUY will be in my section. I was doing a little social networking via the Internet w/ my new classmates and there it was, already a credential dropping post with obscure references and a pun made in Latin. IN LATIN. already? really? ..... really?

I told work I'm going to law school, it was anticlimatic execept,.....I almost don't want to write it in fear of a jinx, but I maybe able to have my tuition reimbursed through tuition assistance... THE WHOLE THING! but it's not a done deal so no jumping up and down yet. The world will still be there to save when I come out of law school right? ... Right and I'll be in a much better mood, crusading around if I am debt free!!

They grow up too fast!!!

2009-05-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

I need to get rid of the TV my 3 year old just told me she needs an Ab Pro something for a "flat tummy"..........

Fall

2009-05-04T19:43:00.001-07:00

I saw a tentative schedule for Fall. Seriously how did I not see this before? I think I was blinded by my admissions obsession. Out of any school I have seen, I think it's the most brutal p/t schedule, but maybe I am making that up. I'm really trying not to freak out, but I am feeling like I am never going to see my husband and daughter again.

It would be SOOOO much easier if I had my last job! It was MUCH closer to the school and more flexible, but I really have to stop thinking about that. Nothing I can do about that! I haven't told my new job I'm going to school. I'm not sure what I'm scared of, I think I am still shell shocked from being laid off. I'm afraid they are going to be pissed b/c I told them my goal was to be a career paralegal/ specialist, but what else are you going to say? I told the firm the same thing but then I found out they were very law school friendly.. this place I don't know yet, I can't tell.
I am still planning on working in the Fall so it's not like I am leaving but I don't want them to think I am keeping it from them.... I don't know.

My father said if someone is going to be upset about me wanting to better myself then it's their problem, and normally I have a f*em attitude, but in this economic climate? ummm not so much!

Also I work for a foreign company that is very disaster conscious and I have a raging cold right now, I got nasty looks all day! I thought they were going to spray me down w/ Lysol. Yet another sucky thing about cubicles. I am going to the DR tomorrow, so I can confirm it is not pig flu!

Happy Monday (cough)

Monday

2009-04-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

Had the weekend for it to sink in a little more. I am still shocked but it is slowly feeling a little more real. That $200.00 seat deposit check I just wrote helped with that!

I am so excited! I need to burn this moment in my brain, so that a year from now, when I'm tired or studying for exams I can look back and remind myself how badly I once wanted it...

Now here is a silly question, silly b/c I should know this ... but for any evening p/t students that might read this, what does your schedule look like? you aren't really in class from 6-10pm M-Thurs? the schedules all say classes are offered in those times, but what does your first quarter/semester look like?

I'M IN!!!!!

2009-04-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

I was rejected by 4 schools that were lower ranked!

I applied in November but only found out today, 4 months later!

And I already paid my backups first seat deposit, goodbye $300!

but who cares I'm in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I 'm off to go pay their seat deposit before they change their mind and I am going to go recover from the shock and relief................. more later.

Oh and I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL and this one's bumper sticker I'll actually put on me car!!!!

THE NEW JOB........ so far

2009-03-29T11:57:00.001-07:00

I was at the firm of "here is a project, get it done whenever" for a long time... It was slow there for long, long time. At first, when the bottom fell out of my practice area, it freaked me out and then I became complacent, spoiled and annoyed when work interfered w/ me obsessively checking lawschoolnumbers.com all day, taking 2 hour lunch breaks and leaving early. Now at in-house job my mind and body are in shock. I'm not used to working at this pace, AT ALL. Don't get me wrong, trust me, I know what hard work is, it's just I haven't done it in a long time.

New place is keeping me busy and hoping, I have projects up the wahzoo already! I was handed a pile of work my first day! The flip side is I don't feel an once of fear re: job security. I am working in the area of legal compliance in highly regulated industry, which is about to get even more regulations thrown at them, so even though this company has laid off, if I keep up, I don't think I'll be one of them.

I have no idea how I ended up at yet another corporate job. Really, I have applied for a number of non-profit jobs and NOTHING! in the meantime I build up more and more corporate experience, WT?

Also, this company is extra conservative and Yes, I am in a DAMN CUBE!!! But how can I complain? w/ so many out of work and me out of work just two weeks ago. I got my first check already and I have to say it was a HUGE relief, plus I like being busy.

PATIENCE MAY BE A VIRTUE

2009-03-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

... and it may make you a better person but right now I'd take my chances, if [BLANK] law school would just let me know already!!!

Seat deposits are coming up and still nothing from 1st choice!! I have been complete since Dec. 1st. I don't get it, am I in a "reject" pile they just haven't gotten to? or am I in a "maybe" pile that they're waiting on until they hear back from EVERYONE they have admitted?

I'm such a dork, I've started practicing in my head what I am going to say when I call the admissions office next week if my status checker doesn't change... I really don't want to call, but I'm over the "no news is good news" and I just want to know!

Also, I'm starting my new job on Monday. I'm kinda nervous about it, especially b/c I wasn't really looking to start a new job. I don't know what desk I'll be at and my biggest fear is I'll be stuck in a cubicle. I hate cubicles, they remind me of vertical coffins, it's so Office Space !!!

New Job

2009-03-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

I got a job! It happened so fast! It seems like a good job, given everything that is going on right now. Everyone either has a spouse, a friend or someone they know who has been laid off. It is incredibly difficult out there, so I feel very lucky! Just in time, our insurance runs out at the end of the month and to continue through Cobra would be $1500 a month!! There are subsidies I may be eligible for, even still it would be completely unaffordable to keep us all insured.

The job is in-house with a large corporation, not really the direction I wanted my career to be heading in, but it pays well and has benefits. It is so hard to get a good government or non profit job that pays anything close to what we could live on (and we live very modestly). I have applied for government jobs and either I don't hear back or I get a letter months letter stating I have not been chosen. The only call back I ever got was for the Dept. of Homeland Sec. and I although I was desperate to break into a government position, I just couldn't see myself working there. Right now I am the main bread winner, so I am doing what I need to do.

I start in a week and I have a laundry list of things to do before I start, dentist, big cleaning projects etc. etc.

I'm so relieved, I have a job!!

LAY OFFS

2009-02-19T10:12:00.001-08:00

More lay offs and I didn't escape them this time. Third round is the charm apparently.
So here I am, unemployed! I should have left a while ago, I saw it coming, but I was gambling that I might make it until I start law school, no such luck!! I got a small severance and of course unemployment is coming, but it is still scary. We cut down on our expenses. We cut preschool hours in half and I am getting rid of my beloved Direct TV w/ DVR.
:( .....

I have an interview next week, but my phone isn't exactly ringing off the hook. I am hopeful but realistic. Other firms in the area laid off people the same day my firm did.

On the law school front I was just accepted to a back up school, that I think has a program that might really work for me. Nationally it is not ranked very highly but locally it has an okay - good rep., I still haven't heard from, what is now my first choice.

One BIG positive about being laid off is lots of time w/ my monkey. I have also been cleaning, cooking and baking, like a mad woman! I have declutter projects and I want to reargange the furniture in the house.... but g-d help me after those things are done!

a couple of things

2009-01-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

First, a big THANK YOU! to all of you who have left the nicest comments!!! I love comments so keep em coming!

The second thing, am I the only one who got this image while wathcing the coverage, or is it just me??????????? Mein Führer, I can walk!

I love 3 day weekends!!!

2009-01-16T11:37:00.000-08:00

Our DC office has inauguration day off. I am sure it more of a logistics issue (like the city being completely shut down) rather than a DC pride thing. I think everyone should have the day off and not just because I love my days off!! but it feels like such a national/historic event that everyone should be able to glue themselves to the TV and be teary eyed in the privacy of their own homes.

Law School oh Law School, how you torture me so!!

From the 4 schools I have heard from I am 2-2. One reject was not a surprise and did not hurt at all, it was a little like buying a lottery ticket, I was over it in about 2 minutes. However the last reject stung. Although the move was completely unrealistic I share many of the school's values and I thought that I would have really fit in there, so I was surprised when I didn't even get deferred or wait listed : (

A little solace is that it is 21 Degrees today in the city where the school is, where I am it is a ridiculous 83 Degrees w/ not a cloud in the sky. I am wearing flip flops in January!!!

The two schools I was accepted at are safeties that I am not excited about but it feels so nice to be wanted by someone!

As for waiting to hear from the others it is PURE TORTURE!! It is so much worse than waiting for LSAT scores to come out.

Books

2009-01-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

I am starting a list of both the books I am reading and are going to read before Fall starts. I got into a mode of fluff after I decided not to take the LSAT anymore and I've read a couple of John Grisham books so far. The book on the right is what I am reading now.

There is a lot of advice online on the subject of pre law prep books and courses. A lot of people who say "don't do it, read fun stuff cause it will be your last chance for 3 years", to that I have to say "yeah right". I am way too neurotic/scared not to try to prepare.

I would also like to maybe take a summer week long prep class, I found one that offers scholarships, so I think I am going to apply. I am not so much worried about being able to handle the work, I am more worried about having a method right off from the start. If I am still trying to work, take classes and spend some time w/ monkey and husband then I don't want to waste time, trying to figure out how to study. Does that make sense? Any thoughts on this are appreciated..........

POST HOLIDAY EXHAUSTION ANYONE?

2009-01-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is the first year monkey had any concept of the season, so we went all out for:

Thanksgiving

Christmas

Hanukkah

Monkey's 3rd birthday (Dec. 30th)

New Years

We had..

1 Turkey dinner

2 Ham dinners (very un - kosher I know!)

8 days worth of presents (buying & wrapping) not including the birthday

and cooking, baking and parties for the last 3 weeks............. I am so done!!!!

No wonder I haven't been posting anything..

Pictures are coming later......

On the law school front, I am still waiting, waiting, waiting...................

Fried Turkey....

2008-11-30T08:51:00.001-08:00

is really really good!!!! This was our first year doing it, we were a little late jumping on the bandwagon, but mmmm was it good! I think we are starting a new tradition. I love having 4 days off, unfortunately I am going into work today (Sunday) for billing and other stuff, I have been putting off. : (

No new news on the law school front, just that one of my recommenders made a mistake, which I found out after I sent out 11 applications! She stated in her letter of rec. that I have a MA degree, which I do not! I have a teaching certificate but not a MA. So now I am waiting for her replacement letter. Also the 3rd person who is writing a letter for me still hasn't finished it (she said she would write it a year ago).......

* this is not our turkey, ours wasn't quite so pretty but just as tasty

Let the negotiating begin...

2008-11-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

I got into law school via a phone call today (my absolute safety school) and they offered me a 70% merit scholarship. I was surprised I was expecting 90-100% from them, but they told me if I got other scholarship offers to send them copies and they would "reconsider" their offer, even though "they don't bid for students" it sounded like an opening offer to me. My husband told me not be a snob (and so I'm trying) and to be happy. Hopefully this is just the first of many to come. I THINK I AM GOING TO LAW SCHOOL!!!

I don't post enough pictures

2008-11-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

So here is one, my hot husband oiling our new wood ikea counter tops, on top of our new ikea cabinets, with our new ikea sink in between. He is doing all the work himself, so our kitchen remodel has taken 3 years and it is still not done. I don't remember what it is like not to live partially out of boxes.

I LOVE MY SINK!!!!!!!!!!

H8TE

2008-11-15T14:33:00.001-08:00

I just have to say I was shocked it passed and I am embarrassed for California right now. It was a bitter sweet night Nov. 4th.

SOMETHING TO WRITE???

2008-11-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

While I am waiting for my rejections and hopefully at least one acceptance. I have been a little light on things to talk about. I would post more about monkey but everything I write doesn't even come close to the magic I experience everyday watching her grow up. My marriage is solid and my job is boring, so I decided to steal some memes to get my writing juices started again.

Here is one:

1. Have you ever pooped in the woods? No, I have car camped only once when I was dating an outdoorsy person, but I am defiantly an, experience the great outdoors from scenic drives and cabins, person.

2. You are starving. You have not had anything to eat for days. In front of you is poison ivy, a live hissing cockroach, and a rotten stinky piece of some sort of mystery meat to eat. Which would you pick and why? I want to say cockroach but I have a real thing about them, they seriously freak me out, so it is a toss up.

3. Bottled or Tap water? Filtered tap

4. Your dream job, what would it be and why? Right now pro bono coordinator for a firm, so I can keep the better pay and benefits but still do the work I want to do. However, that could change in law school.

5. Do you have any snow globes? Yes, one. I have a Fargo snow globe it has Marge leaning over a dead body in the snow.

Time for school...

2008-10-28T15:20:00.000-07:00

It is time to move on from the LSAT. I have had a few days now to process my results and I have decided it is time for school. The LSAT is not an end, only a means to an end. I was going to retake in Dec. thinking that 3rd time may be the charm but I talked to my admissions consultant who thinks it might not help and could hurt (it wasn't as bad as June's disaster but not as good as I was practicing at). Right now I am tweaking my PS for (hopefully) the last time and then I can start hitting send on my electronic apps. , then the real waiting starts.

I have decided to focus on $$ and who will most likely offer me the most $$. If it was a choice today of a school in the top 100 (excluding the top 20) at full tuition and a 3-4th tier with a full scholarship,, the scholarship would win. My husband and I already have loans from undergrad and I don't want anymore. We have a mortgage and private school tuition for monkey I don't need anymore financial burdens. I decided I don't just want tuition, but I want books and a barbri course,, I am in the mood for some deal making...

I have a friend in law school once she had a full scholarship offer she called all the other schools that she was interested in and asked them to match the offer. Granted she had a 170 and is one of the smartest people I have ever known,, but still, it can't hurt to ask. okay I am off to finish my PS and my addendum.

More layoffs

2008-10-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

More secretaries this week packing their one box and giving back their key cards. The rumor is the attorneys are going to get hit in Dec. after their reviews and billables for the year are done, but before they get their bonuses. BRUTAL!

I didn't get the in-house job. I am really not that upset about it. It would just be more corporation stuff. I just have to last here another 10 months unitl law school (wow that feels really weird to write).

How could I forget you

2008-10-16T16:13:00.000-07:00

UCI School of Law. Defiantly applying here. I have been working on my "why UCI law" statement for awhile but I am having problems. What is the appropriate way to say "I would f*cking sh*t myself if I could go to your school" and "you have a rockin' dean?"

I know, such a potty mouth but I have to get it out of system. I haven't been able to curse around the house in 2.5 years now.

Edit: But seriously the school is not even open yet, so I have just been writing about the dean and the faculty. However everyone will be writing about that, so I don't know how to stand out.

CA girl

2008-10-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

well it looks like the housing prices will stay where they are at for a while and so will we. Texas was a nice fantasy though and still am going to apply, what the hay? right? So if I am going to law school next year it will have to be in Cali. I haven't had any issues with anonymity and this blog. I guess I am just that anti-social. So I am going to post about the schools I am applying to. Here is my Cali list -

1. UCLA's School of Public Interest - ( I'm really dreaming big with this one but I'm pouring my heart into the two essays I'm writing + addendum's; defiantly my first choice)

2. Loyola

3. California Western - (Innocence Project - I may be crazy on this one I would have to take a train for 4 hours a day)

4. Southwestern - (interesting 2 year full time option)

5. Whittier - (only if I got a really good scholarship)

6. UC Davis - (might be good enough to take the loss on the house for this one, also a reach school)

7. Santa Clara - (northern CA Innocence Project - not so sure about taking the house loss for this one)

8. U of Pacific - (not prestigious but in Sacramento and government opportunities, not sure about moving for this one)

9. USC - (expecting a reject but its in LA so I have to try)

10. Boalt - (even bigger pipe dream but defiantly would move out of our house for this one)

Edit: Western State University College of Law sent me a fee waiver and a letter stating they offer generous scholarships, 25%-100% for those with a 152 and above. This school is interesting. In my working world it might as well be a non-ABA online school. But they do have a lot of alum in orange county including something like 25% of the areas prosecutors and judges. However, they have a horrible rep and are only provisional approved because they got in trouble with their bar passage rates. I don't know. No sense in giving it too much thought until I see how everything shakes out, I guess.

Not so much

2008-10-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

Am I taking this whole process of applying to law school in stride? ummm not so much. Between waiting for my LSAT score and waiting to hear back about my job interview my anxiety level is through the roof right now. Last night I cried on the train on the way home because we got an overdraft fee taken out of our bank account. Not a pretty sight!

I told my LSAT tutor I think I got a least a 158 on the test, as for my goal to be in the 160s I have no idea. So it started to hit me today that if I did get a 158 on the LSAT ummm I'm going to law school!?! I think someone will take me. Who, where and how much $$$ g-d only knows but I could go. I think back to when I first saw the LSAT and swore only geniuses could do the games. I remember my first attempts, where I would write out the names like James, Sarah and Frank instead of J, S, F because I didn't know any better and my first attempt that was somewhere in the 140s. I guess I have come a long way.

I started to look at books on how to succeed in law school and suggested first year summer reading lists and I got really excited. I'm going to law school !!! I think the financial mess we're in right now maybe a blessing in disguise. My big firm paralegal career aspirations have soured and I am not so confident that in 10 years I will be making $100,000. I want to pursue government and public interest opportunities in law school. I don't want pretend to be interested in my clients matters everyday. I want to care about my work.

Okay enough rambling for now.............

Life goes on

2008-10-05T12:28:00.000-07:00

Life goes on even when you are applying to law school. Work has been scary dead for some time now. I manage to keep myself "busy" (being a relative term) only because I never got my promotion or raise so my billing rate is "cheap" (again being a relative term) . I am also pretty well liked so I get dribbles of work from here and there.

They just had the first round of real layoffs at my office. I was spared. The first round is always people "they" don't like. Mostly it was people who are difficult personalities to work with or pissed off management for some reason or another. No lawyers have been laid off (yet), why lay off someone who makes $200,000 + when you lay off 3-4 secretaries and assistants? They still offered all the summers jobs and are starting the first year class as usual, typical big firm crap. I did hear one rumor though about a partner being asked to leave after December because all his clients are going bankrupt.

You never know who is safe from being laid off. They're a law firm so anyone who is pregnant or has any medical problems is safe. They're also very hesitant to lay off minorities, so you never know where you fall on the list of people to ax. I had a job interview a week ago to go in-house. I think it went well. It was an in person interview after a phone interview that went really well. I think I am going to take it if is offered to me, it is the only call back I have gotten. Job ads are slim pickins these days. I have a recruiter who keeps calling me but I don't think I want to jump firms. It would just be more of the same. If I can't go in-house I think I'll just try to move to a busier practice area, like bankruptcy. Not my first choice but what can you do in this economy? At least as far as big law goes.

ticker

2008-10-04T18:26:00.001-07:00

Time to change the ticker again to "countdown to score". I am very happy it is over!!
I had the exact same damn order as June

RC LR RC LG LR

and again I did better on the second than the first but the this time the second was the real!!! wohoo it went in my favor this time!! So I feel okay about all the sections except Games, June was easier. I struggled on two of the games. However I left this time not wanting to cry or throw up, so I am taking that as a good sign. We shall see what happens now.

Ike

2008-09-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

So my life.. I get all excited about Texas, start talking to my parents about retiring there and then WTF!!!!

I have to say though I experienced my first high rise earthquake a few weeks ago and I DID NOT enjoy it. It wasn't even very big, but big enough to remember I am on the 24th floor and pretty much S.O.L. if any sort of disaster happens. My stomach still drops if the floor shakes because a heavy box has been set down or if there is any work being done above or below us. Last year we had a fire drill. It takes a good 20-30 min. to walk down 24 flights of stairs. I was so sore I hobbled around for almost a week.

So what is worse, the threat of the "BIG ONE" or some wind and rain????

EDIT: I DEFIANTLY DON'T MEAN TO BE FLIPPANT, MY HEART GOES OUT TO THOSE IN IKE'S PATH.

Spreadsheets

2008-08-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

I am really into spreadsheets, they are like crack for list makers (that would be me). Somebody might remember this scariness LINK. Well I started another

All the schools I am going to apply to, if they have PT programs, early decision, length allowed for personal statements and other goody info. I took off a school today that I for sure wouldn't want to go to, but had on my list just because it is a Tier 2 in CA. I still have 20 on my list! Thank goodness for fee waivers, otherwise $50 (at least) for 20 applications is $1000. I got a fee waiver for the LSAT so I hoping fee waivers won't be a problem. I am just really ready to apply, curse you June LSAT!!! But I am waiting to write my addendum re: my difference in LSAT scores and why they shouldn't pay any attention to that 152, until after I get my Oct. score, so I can avoid jinxing myself and looking/feeling like a dumb ass if it all doesn't go the way I plan. I wish Oct. was here already! oy vey!!!

New Addiction

2008-08-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to lawschoolnumbers.com, the site where people plug in their GPAs and LSAT scores into a database which the site then puts into a graph for each school, showing who has been rejected, waitlisted and accepted. I check every school I am interested in about 5 times a day (work is very slow!). I need to stop. The really funny thing is I don't even have a GPA . I went to one of the maybe 5 schools in the country that has pass/fail (not Brown or UC Santa Cruz, I wish). My LSAC academic report is so sporadic I need to write an addendum, I took a long break in the middle of getting my BA and then there is some community college (paralegal certificate) and some community college classes from High School that I didn't drop and got Fs in. My paralegal stuff is 4.0 but considered graduate and not factored in the my GPA so this is what it looks like:

Grade Earned - Semester Hours
3.50 & Up A 8.7
2.50 - 3.49 B 15.4
1.50 - 2.49 C 4.0
D 0.0
0.49 & Down F 9.0 [FROM MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL 1992!!!]

Unconverted 64.0

Degree (Summary) GPA: 0.0 Cumulative GPA: 2.34
Degree Semester Hours: 0.0 Cumulative Semester Hours: 37.1

So out of 101 semester hours I have 64 that are pass. I talked some of the admissions reps. at one of those LSAC fairs but they just said they would take other factors into account, resume, personal statement, etc., but that is not much help when you are trying to figure out where you stand with something like lawschoolnumbers.com.

I am also trying to write a powerful but very personal and risky personal statement about an addiction problem I had 8 years ago (not lawschoolnumbers.com).

I am a mom, 34, have an interesting resume, the first one in my family to go to college let alone grad school, and I converted to Judaism. There has to be some points in there for diversity, right?

TEXAS

2008-08-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

Up until now my law school search has been confined to CA. I grew up in CA and my husband likes it here. My parents are here which is a big concern. They are very helpful and monkey adores them and vice versa. We go over to visit them at least once a week, so it was important that we stay close to them. Monkey and my mom and dad would be devastated if they didn't see each other often. We were out to breakfast with my parents one morning and out of the blue my dad said he wanted to get a large piece of land with either a big house or with two houses so we could all live together and hubby and I could finish school. I know my parents will end up living with us someday anyway. We don't have any other family and I refuse to put them in home. So I started thinking that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. My dad is turning 66 and just had a cancerous kidney removed and we have only recently repaired our relationship (I didn't speak to him for over 15 years, due to us both being stubborn). He also has high blood pressure and has been smoking since he was 11, the cardiologist also said he has scar tissue on his heart so I worried about the number of years we have left with him.

We couldn't do it in CA, but my parents could conceivably cash out their homes here and move to a place with a lower cost of living and get a large enough house w/ a guest house that we could live in and not kill each other. The only other state I think I would consider living in is Texas. It is warm (we need warm but not too hot or humid i.e. the deep south) and not too cold. It has some cities with very affordable surrounding areas/suburbs. My parents, husband, and I have all been to Texas and like Austin (but I don't think U of T law in Austin is realistic for me) and from what I am reading online, job prospects look good.

I am very curious if anyone had any thoughts on Texas??????????

RANDOM RANTS ON BIG LAW AND BIG MONEY

2008-08-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

Today at work I found out we have a proofreader! Yes that is right someone whose job it is to proofread our work before it goes out to clients! wha? I have been working here a year and didn't know that. Besides that we have secretaries, word processors, assistants (me), paralegals, and lawyers and support staff up the wazoo.

Did I mention the partners retreat this year cost 14 million! That is not including the various practice retreats they also have every year.

As long as I am ranting about money you don't even want to know how many young associates complain about how expensive children are and how they don't when they will be able to start their families. Most of them even have spouses who also make 15o,000 plus. I know the city is expensive and they have school loans but even still as couples they are grossing something like 25,000 a month!

I am so glad I didn't fall into the "it takes a million dollars to raise a child" belief. Don't get me wrong, it is hard and I don't know what we would do without my parents but having her was the best thing I have ever done. She is the greatest joy in our lives and I wouldn't trade her for all the ipods, luxury cars, vacations or mansions in the world.

Break and update

2008-08-19T10:52:00.000-07:00

Took a little break from posting for two reasons, work and my dad. My dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have his kidney removed all within a three week period. I don't think it really even hit me until after the surgery what had happened. But everything went fine and he is home recovering but still in a lot of pain. The doctors got all the cancer out so my dad doesn't have to undergo any chemo. At 66 his main concern is getting back to work. He tried to retire a few years ago and got so bored he went back to work.

The other thing I have had going on is a work thing. We had a little excitement when it looked like our client might be dragged into some litigation but it is highly unlikely. I got to court for hearing which is always exciting for me and I get to go again in two weeks. I love court!

Anywho, just a quick update. I have missed even more powerscore classes these last two weeks and now the class is almost over. It is was all refresher anyway so I don't feel that bad. I think in Sept it will hit me that I am taking the LSAT again. Right now it still feels far away.....

under 2 months

2008-08-05T15:28:00.000-07:00

My fellow pre-law-er over at http://parttimelawschool.wordpress.com/ is showing me up with all those damn good scores (I kid.. you are rocking those practice lsats!). If I figure out how to do it, I am going to add a bar with my scores as well. Under 2 months woo hoo!!!! Time to kick it up a notch.

Starting with Aug. 2 - 163 (percentile 89.4%) Doh!!! damn elusive 90% !!!!

CUTE

2008-07-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

My Mom's Worries As A Law Student - One Less Worry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF7r5YNWOqw

Things in 3s

2008-07-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently there is a long history of the significance of the number 3. My DH could elaborate, he is the trivia nerd (still bitter he didn't get invited to try out for jeopardy, but that is another story) of the two of us. 3 bad things that happened to me recently are:

1. Disappointing LSAT score

2. Didn't get my raise/promotion at my yearly review (economy and layoffs in my practice area at other firms, so my firm is scared and froze all new hiring and promotions)

3. Insurance fiasco and rejected for gastric bypass surgery

I have been really depressed about the above for a couple of weeks now, but I have been plugging along and things this week are starting to look up.

1. Had a breakthrough with sufficient and necessary this week. Took an LR section and went up 3 points from my last one, not huge but it just felt different, less relying on my intuition and more understanding and still finished comfortably before time.

2. Huge amount of pressure and stress relieved at work. I am not scrounging around for projects and trying to bill like a mad woman because I know it doesn't matter, so I no longer feel stressed about being slow. I am enjoying the time to study.

3. Just got a call from my Dr. office, there could still be hope this Gastric Bypass thing could work out and I could stay with my current surgeon.

On a side note I am really trying to not to be negative about having to retake the LSAT. I am trying to turn it into a positive, telling myself "I will get a better score than I would have even if I didn't have my meltdown."

On a second side note Good Luck Bar Takers!!!!!!!

Wha????????? you say???

2008-07-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THESE!!!!!

I'm old!!!

2008-07-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

Went on a mini vacation this weekend, it was arranged months ago before the June LSAT, it was nice but I got so sunburned it made me physically ill. Hubby and monkey didn't put any sunscreen on and they were fine (they go to the park or beach everyday). Mama on the other hand sits in an office all day and fries up as red as lobster in the sun : (

So between illness and the vacation I have missed 3 PS classes. I am feeling guilty, I need to focus and get my motivation back.

I did however finish drafting my law school resume, it is 3 pages long!!! geeshh I'm old!!!

CHECK

2008-07-15T13:21:00.001-07:00

Sent 4 page personal statement to hubby to see if he could chop out the non-interesting chunks of my life story (I am convinced every word is critical and the essay completely falls apart, when I try).

Did PS homework. The sufficient and necessary drills are so much easier this time around. Also I got every in-class question correct (Baruch Ashem!)

Sent away second cover letter for recommendation (only 1 to go!)

Rethinking and researching 3 and 4 tier schools (they don't look so bad when I realize they may be the only acceptances I get).

More Studying

2008-07-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend was my first "repeater" class. I thought I would be bored out of my mind and I sort of was in the games section, but for the rest of the class I wasn't. It was a good refresher. For the past 6 months since I first took the class I have been concentrating disproportionately on games. Although I did badly on June's games, I have been getting 18-20 on games every time in practice, doubling what I used to get. It used to be, by far, my worst section. This weekend I did two practice sections, games and LR. On games I did 3 perfect games and ran out of time on the fourth, getting 18 out of 22 correct. On LR though I thought I did really well and was expecting over 20 but I missed 7 and only got an 18. My plan for the next 2 + months is to focus on LR and RC the same way that I did games and get my score to a -4 or less for those sections. Also I plan to do ALL the homework, something I did not do my first time around.

All I am going to say is...

2008-07-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

Does he have amnesia?

"Betrayed by Obama"

http://www.salon.com/opinion/walsh/election_2008/2008/07/10/obama_fisa/index.html

Sad

2008-07-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

We put monkey into a private school she has been on a waitlist for since she was 14 months. It has been a rocky two weeks. They can start there at 2.5 and potty trained. We thought she was ready but they told us today, she is not "toilet independent" enough. It really sucks. She really loves it there. However, they said they would still hold a spot for her in the fall, if we can get her go to the potty more "independently." Apparently when the teachers ask her if she has to go potty she says "no, I'm playing" or "maybe later I'm busy."

I feel like a bad mommy....... : (

Personal Statement

2008-07-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

I have been writing my personal statement in emails at work. Who I am trying to fool? I don't know. There is no one watching me or that even cares what I am doing all day as long as I get the few projects I have done (my practice area is dead right now).

I saw my tutor last weekend and she made suggestions on where to elaborate and what to cut out. She sent me home to start over. I rewrote it all day yesterday and then cut and pasted it into WORD, to check the length. It is 4 pages with no paragraph breaks and I still have more to say!

My number one choice, the school I am applying early-binding-decision to, is a strict "not to exceed two double spaced pages" with a 12 point font. 2 pages!!! sure if your 22 and don't have anything more interesting to talk about than the summer you worked as a camp counselor.

Also, I need to post more. I can't stand seeing my score every time I bring up this page.. blah.......

Next few months

2008-07-06T11:23:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone for there "good lucks" and encouragement. As my tutor says, if you are going to bomb, "do it big" and I did. There is no choice but to get back on the horse and do it again, besides I am just pissed, I know I can do better. My new goal is to be solidly in a 163-168 band in my practice tests, ambitious I know, but I will go in with more confidence and I think I will be a lot less likely to completely choke and freeze up.

I am going to repeat the PS class. It started on Tuesday. I need the motivation and focus and I can't afford to keep tutoring every week. I have been sick all week, so I am starting the PS class on Saturday. I am officially a "repeater"!

Plan

2008-07-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

Well I said I would post my score no matter how painful, so here it is:

152.

Here is a breakdown of my raw scores (number I got correct), my goal was to adverage 20 on each section putting me at a raw 80 or 161:

RC - 12 (Section I blew big time, I had a complete panic-meltdown and literally missed the entire last half of the section, but I thought it was the experimental, well it wasn't, it was the real one, I completely confused the passages)

LR - 18 (Better than I thought I was still traumatized from my panic attack in the first section and thought I did a lot worse)

LG - 15 (This was just plain careless nervousness, I was rushing through and I missed two questions on each game)

LR - 19 (Only surprise, I thought I did better this section at least over 20)

And of course I feel like I did really well on the experimental RC, otherwise I would not have kept this sad score.

Should have cancelled, my tutor and husband were so right. But curiosity just had to kill the cat.

Well I had a day to pout and doubt myself and I am 90% over it. I am seeing my tutor tomorrow to talk about my personal statement and possibly retaking the PS class.

I got my score Thursday and left work early, upset. I sat on the train and started doubting myself. "am I ever going to be good at taking the real thing? is law school the right choice?" etc., etc. Then I saw someone reading a newspaper on the front page was the story headline " Study of Death Row Finds System is Flawed". I am passionatly against the death penalty and really want to work with the innocence project, unfoutunalty the closest chapter to me is two hours away.

Well I am not ready to give up, just yet. So here we go again, count down to Oct.

WAITING.........

2008-06-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

By nature I am not a patient person, so this killing me. Even though I have fully prepared myself for a disappointing score and to retake in Oct., I am dying to get my score. I read online I could get the score as early as July 3rd!! They sometimes release the score the Friday before the official date and next Friday is a holiday.............. could time go any slower?

THE TEST

2008-06-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am so sick! I got the post-stress cold with a vengeance. I even started drinking airborne a week before the test but apparently the LSAT stress was too strong. Despite both my tutor and my husband's encouragement to cancel and retake, I am 95% sure I am keeping. I double checked and all but one of the schools I am applying to told me they take the highest score. So I can keep and retake in theory without penalty. I just can't let it go. I know curiosity isn't really a good reason to keep it but I am dying to know. I am almost positive the first section I had was the experimental and that is the one I really tanked. However, I also know my second section was not my best effort or even close. I think I did good to alright on the last three. So if I had to guess maybe a 155 -157 best guess. However, I am praying for a miracle and blind/dumb luck to eek out a 160. I was practice testing in the low-mid 160s. I am taking a week or two off and then I going to finish up my personal statement and addendum.

On another note I just did a volunteer/pro bono shift at a low income legal aid clinic. I loved it. I wish I could go every week but I think they might notice that in the office, so I am going once a month. I felt really comfortable there, just as I did when I used to work for non-profits. I am seriously thinking that public interest is where I belong. I have started researching my financial options. I know I have to be really careful about what school I go to (LRAP) and how much debt to take on. And I thought the LSAT was the hard part! I'm thinking this is going to be almost as much work.

LSAT D-DAY

2008-06-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

If it was a horse race I would have been the horse that remained in the gate bewildered and then only after seeing all the other horses bolt out of their gates would I have then realized, oh sh-t I am supposed to be in this race.

Royally screwed up my first section, RC didn't even get to read at least 7-10 questions (it is still a little blurry), was still jolted and upset in the second section, tried, but still had to guess on several. Third section another RC (holy crap! I could still be in this) pulled my head out of a** and got in the race the last 3 sections. Was it enough to place? I highly doubt it. I want to see my score but know it will be upsetting. I am seriously considering cancelling, since one of the schools I want to apply to still averages. I am playing phone tag with my tutor/admission consultant to discuss. I was okay and laughing about it yesterday. But it is hitting me today and all I want to do is cry.............................

"Vacation"

2008-06-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

Worked like crazy this week to get out stuff before I go on "vacation" next week. Felt quasi attorney- ish this week I drafted doc.s outside of my team's specialty and for xtra fun, recently laws have changed and needed to be incorporated into the doc.s. Fun but I am stressed and terrified I did them wrong. Do you still feel like that when you are an attorney or does it get even worse? Anywho they were sent off to the client and I am praying that they don't email before 5pm Friday (tomorrow yeah!!) Now I am tired and just doing the bare minimum on stuff I can reasonable get "out the door" before tomorrow. I am so glad I am taking a week off!!!!!!!!!! Also just to prove what a freak I am about the LSAT I got personalized pencils made with reassuring phases (that met the max. amount of letter/spaces). Most places were expensive or you had to buy about a over 100 of them. But then I found these -

that were only 13.00 for 2 dozen, but when they said NEON colors they mean NEON. Mine say

"relax calm confident positive"
and
"all my hard work will pay off"

DORK!!

Was there a 3 day weekend?

2008-05-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

I tried my best not to anything this weekend and I still feel like I could spend another week on the couch. I went to LSAT tutoring on Sunday and only did 3 sections on Monday. I am so tired. I flailed on RC (the first section) but Games (third section) I got 3 wrong and finished before time. I am defiantly thinking I should do some warm up on the day of. Not time myself or even look at the answers, but just warm up. I am laying off studying too much this week. I think I will focus on review and maybe some RC sections but just 1 at a time. I am tired and feel like I might be coming down with something. Monkey threw up this morning in the car while husband was driving me to work. She had nothing but milk in her stomach so it was just like spit up but with much bigger pieces of curd. We had to get off the freeway and clean her up and change her clothes. You think we would be done with that at age 2 1/2. Ah the adventures of parenting!

Work! Who can work at a time like this?

2008-05-23T10:13:00.002-07:00

Coming to work has become torture. It is not that busy, so I feel absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything. All I want to do is study and practice relaxation exercises. I wish I could have taken two weeks off, but having a 2 year old that brings home every germ ever known to man, pretty much sucked up all my PTO time. I barely even have the week to take off, paid that is. I cracked 165 (on an older test) this last week and at this point I know that I am my own worst enemy. So I have begun looking up ways to manage test anxiety. Normally I would balk at this stuff but............... not now!

Practice relaxation exercises along with positively visualizing the exam going well for you. A simple relaxation technique is to sit or lie quietly and begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe slowly and regularly and say "relax" with every exhalation. Do this for at least five minutes and as long as 20 minutes. Once you achieve a state of deep relaxation, say positive self-statements, such as: I am a good student; I am relaxed, calm, alert and confident on exams; I see myself accomplishing my goals; I am capable; I have confidence in myself. Then, while still in this deeply relaxed state, picture yourself taking your upcoming exam. See yourself calm, relaxed, alert, clear and confident on the exam. See yourself correctly answering all the questions and the exam going well for you. Visualize yourself succeeding. Do this relaxation and visualization exercise each day in the days before the exam and during the half hour or so before the exam.

Throughout the exam focus on remaining calm, relaxed, and positive. Check your breathing often. Keep it regular and slow. Make sure your breathing is from your lower lungs. Avoid rapid, shallow upper lung breathing which tends to increase anxiety levels. Check your neck and shoulder muscles and loosen any tight areas.
Throughout the exam say positive self statements to yourself and push away any disturbing or distracting thoughts. Say things like: I am a good student; I am very capable; I am learning more each day; My memory is improving each day; My mind is clear and alert; I see myself accomplishing my goals; I have confidence in myself; I am an intelligent, talented person; I am relaxed, calm and confident on my exam; I am eliminating any distracting or disturbing thoughts.
Allow yourself the whole test period to finish the exam. Do not allow those who leave early to bother you. They often are not the ones who do best.
Remain clear, calm, confident and positive.
Maintain an alert mind and a cheerful attitude throughout the exam.

RELAX MEDITATE BREATHE FOCUS REFRESH BE CALM
LET GO

beetles are good luck, right?

2008-05-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

The LSAT and to a lessor extent applying to law school is making me crazy. I am completely obsessed with the process. I had my hand at other careers, mainly teaching and social services. I even took the MAT and applied to a graduate psychology program (not for me). I wasn't even a quarter as obsessed as I am now. I barely studied for the MAT, it was more like I looked it over before I took it. I just didn't care. Not like this.

Anyway one of the reasons I have been so busy these last 2 weeks is I am getting some actual pro bono work (very exciting!!). I was at a training all day on Saturday so I could volunteer at a legal aid clinic doing family law for low income adults. The training was at a law school that I am planning on applying to. It is not my safety school or my reach but more of a middle of the road school. I would me more than ecstatic if I got in there. I was sitting at the breakfast waiting for the training to begin when I see this huge beetle crawling on my arm. The guy (poor guy) next to me tried to get it off but it just seemed to disappear. Later in the same room for lunch the same beetle crawled across the floor next to me. I am not a superstition person at all, (well maybe a little) but I don't care. I am taking it as a sign. A GOOD SIGN.

MONDAY MONDAY WISH IT WERE SUNDAY

2008-05-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

Cause that's my fun day! Well it used to be, now it is LSAT day. I have been so busy these last 2 weeks, I skipped out on my Sunday tutoring to do a test with the "LSAT proctor". It was okay. It was a little weird and low budget but having someone else call time is really nice. I had to turn off the distractions. They were a little too much, pencil tapping, people talking/clearing throats, then all of a sudden a helicopter! Even with the extra distractions turned off, there were still doors squeaking and papers rustling around. I think I will work myself into the extra distractions. Also, I only did 4 sections. I need to get my endurance up. I am exhausted after 4 sections and my eyes start crossing. I got 163 yesterday and on the two previous ones I got 164. So I am feeling pretty good. Baring some major catastrophe I will take it in 28 days. I put in for a week off, so I will have a total of 9 days off! I will do a test a day, five sections plus the writing section. It will also be a mini vaction. I plan to see "Sex in the City" and use a gift certificate I got for Mom's Day for a pedicure and a message. It only took me 10 months! But I am starting to feel "solid".

Countdown

2008-05-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

I love my LSAT tutor! She is really great. I saw her for 3.5 hours yesterday. We spent maybe 2 hours pounding out games and logic questions and the rest was LSAT therapy. I always feel so calm and good about myself when I see her. We talked a lot about improving my confidence. I discount or make excuses for how I could be testing in the 160s. It's as if I only think I am capable/worthy of a score in the 150s. I seriously need to stop that, instead of making it a self-fulling prophecy. We also talked about how much time to take off of work before the test (1 week) and what to do for that week. Also we had the "will I be ready in June" talk , she thinks "yes" and I think "I can't do this until Oct." so it's June or bust!!!

PS I thought this was the goofiest thing when I first saw it and now less than 6 weeks until the real thing I bought it!

http://www.lsatproctor.com/purchase.php

I couldn't help myself! It's a virtual proctor on DVD and it has people coughing on it!! I even paid the extra $3.00 to get it in 2-3 days!!

MIA

2008-04-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for a while because I have been so busy at work and attempting to study that writing has fallen on the back burner. Also I love comments but I don't get very many of them, so I don't think anyone is reading. (* hint hint ;) *)

I am almost at the 6 week mark for the countdown to the LSAT and I am trying to not FREAK OUT.. I mean stay calm. I am still in the low 160s (low low) which is making me nervous. I am afraid of getting nervous and dropping five points or more on the really thing, putting me in the 150s. That is not going to do it for getting any scholarships or even getting into a good school.

Also not the best timing, is my job situation. If I have any hopes of getting a raise and promotion this summer (1 year review time) then I have to bill. To bill, I need to be busy and that = stress, not sleeping and mediocre attempts at studying. Part of me wants to blow off my job and just think about the test. The more responsible part of me sees the $15,000 raise that comes with being promoted and thinks about my family. Another option is postponing again until Sept. but with all the tutoring is just doesn't make sense. Besides if I don't get this test over with. I think I will have to kill myself. (bad humor)

My sleep habits the last couple of weeks have really sucked. I can't sleep unless I take sleeping pills which make me groggy and only gets me shallow sleep which makes me even more tired. I tapered off the pills but I haven't slept well in almost two weeks. I broke down and got some melatonin but I am still groggier than hell. I have become an insomniac and I don't know what to do :(

Parlez vous francais?

2008-04-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

I don't. Not a lick. But I am going to a "Orientation Tea" at a French immersion preschool to kiss some derriere and put my monkey on yet another waiting list.

If you would have told me I would be going to this thing 3 years ago I would have told you that "crack is wack" and to put down the pipe. But I don't know who I have become. It is in two weeks and I am already thinking about what all 3 of us are going to wear. I am ashamed.

But in my own defence we live in the outer edges of the city, in a not so great area. It is not as though we have a whole gaggle of schools to choose from that are in reasonable driving distance from our house. So off we go to hunt out 1) a good school 2) one that doesn't have a wait list 2 miles long and she can actually get into; and 3) one that doesn't cost more than my college tuition.

In addition we are also going to a fundraising book-sale/pancake breakfast at another school where she is already on the list. We were told she might have a chance since we put her on the list at 14 months. My husband is getting up at 5 in the morning to go cook pancakes as a volunteer. Why do I get the feeling this is only the beginning?????????

I want another thing in my house that EATS & POOPS and I want to pay $50.00 for it !?!

2008-04-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

Are you kidding!!

We had a couple of frustrating potty training days last week (the novelty wore off) and I had a moment this weekend and bought a little mommy fisher price potty doll. The doll "drinks" from a bottle and then when you put it on "potty chair" a little magnet makes her "pee". But this one is just too much! You have got to be kidding, playing with poop is something we encourage our daughter NOT to do. Plus I already have to buy food and diapers for one kid, why in heaven's earth would I want to buy diapers for a doll? Besides this thing is just creepy! In my favorite review on Amazon a woman points out to make sure to clean it really well inside and out becuase the food inside the doll molds!!!

Playing "mommy" is more fun than ever with BABY ALIVE, the doll that "eats" and "poops" just like a real baby!

Feed her or give her a bottle, and then get ready to change her messy diaper!

When this doll is "hungry" you can mix up some of her special doll food!

She really eats and tells you how she likes it with fun electronic phrases like, "Mmm good!"

Doll comes with dress, 2 doll diapers, bottle with nipple and cap, bowl, spoon, 4 packets of doll food and bib

Test Preparation That Never Ends

2008-03-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

How scary is this? With the help of my tutor I am plowing away at almost every available LSAT test between now and June. I am doing 1-3 Sections a day plus review, and a full test 1-2x a month. If I don't get at least a 160+ in June I am seriously reconsidering this law school thing.

Tantrums

2008-03-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

Monkey came into my office last Friday she had lots of fun getting oodles of attention and little desk toys from all the Secretaries. She had so much fun that when it came time to leave she had a tantrum/melt down in my Boss/Partner's office. I picked her up and swiftly took her out of the office leaving her and my husband at the elevators, with husband trying to talk her out of taking off her pants. I was a little embarrassed even though my Partner is probably the nicest boss I have ever had. Today however a different Partner (not my boss) went storming down the hall yelling "he is a f*cking psycho path" (referring to a client) several times and now I am not so embarrassed. At least Friday's tantrum came from a 2 year old.

Cha-Ching

2008-03-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

I have my first tutoring session this weekend, Who Hoo !!!!!
Sat. from 12-2pm. I have been telling any random person who will listen the whole story of how its only $75.oo an hour as opposed to the usual $120.00 and about how a higher score could give you back that investment 10 fold and bla bla bla blahhh..... no one cares what I am babbling about. I am just trying to convince myself. All I can think of is how I am coughing up a $150.00 dollars for 2 hours!

There is not enough time to take a whole new practice test so I am pulling the last couple I took and some games that have driven my batty. I am already feeling motivated. It's the Jenny Craig effect (Jenny Craig is big among the women in my office right now) you spend so much money for that crappy food you force yourself to eat it and loose weight just because your pissed at how much $ you are spending.

Kick in the A*S

2008-03-12T09:06:00.001-07:00

Apparently I need to pay someone $75.00 an hour (which is a good rate) to kick me in the above aforementioned body area. I am not complaining about my new tutor, because she is fantastic.
While I do need help with games and maybe some reading comp. (really how am I still missing main point questions, didn't I learn those in the 4th grade?) what I really need from her is the kick. I am a little disappointed in myself that I need to find outside motivation. I have always thought of myself as self motivated. But that is what I need, what can I say the LSAT sucks!

TEST SCHMESHT

2008-03-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

Well if this doesn't make me feel ridiculous for not having taken the LSAT yet.....................

Eight-year-old passes law school entrance test

March 7, 2008 - 6:01AM

An eight-year-old Brazilian boy has passed a law school entrance exam - earning him praise and shocking the country's legal profession.
The Brazilian Bar Association said the achievement of Joao Victor Portellinha should be taken as a warning about the low standards of some of the nation's law schools.
"If this is confirmed, the Education Ministry should immediately intervene ... to investigate the circumstances of this case," said the association's president in Goias state, Miguel Angelo Cancado.
The boy is still in Year 5 - two levels ahead of normal for his age - but his mother says he's not a cloistered genius.
"He is a regular boy," she told the Folha de S Paulo newspaper.
"He is very dedicated, likes to read and study, but he has fun and makes friends."
The Universidade Paulista, a multi-campus private university, said today that the boy won't be enrolling any time soon. He still has to graduate from high school.
"My dream is to be a federal judge," the boy said, according to Globo TV's website.
"So I decided to take the test to see how I would do ... It was easy. I studied a week before the test."
AP

Law Firms

2008-03-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

I just discovered the blog below. For life in big time law firm, she has some great and oh so true stories.

http://opinionistas.com/

Universal Health Care

2008-03-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

I just have to chime in with a personal story. My father is retired military (20 years service) and a Vietnam vet who saw active combat. Recently he went for dental work and while the work was being done his blood pressure dropped. The dentist called for an ambulance and by law was taken to the closest hospital which was Kaiser. The Kaiser doctors wanted him admitted but didn't know anything about his medical insurance which is Tricare a government plan for veterans which my father pays premiums for every month (he even pays extra for a "deluxe plan"). Kaiser then tried calling other hospitals but they wouldn't take him without a "contact" person (a doctor who is willing to accept him) and since no one was familiar with his insurance long shory short he ended up a state hospital. We followed the ambulance there and it was worse than stepping into the largest homeless shelter in downtown LA (I have volunteered there). My mother, husband and myself tried to talk my father into getting into the car with us and just leaving but he wouldn't he stayed the night. The next day he still had not been seen by a doctor and the heroin addict in the next bed finally got on his nerves enough that he signed himself out and walked out. My husband picked him up and took him straight to his doctor's office. It was a nightmare my father was sick and instead of being able to focus on him I was literally on the phone with hospital admin.s talking about insurance. Our systemis broken. There is no excuse in a country as rich as ours. Everyone should be as educated and as healthy as they can be. It is not a hand out when it benefits society and the community as a whole. Here are some links and that is my 2 cents.

The Case For Single Payer, Universal Health Care For The United States

http://cthealth.server101.com/the_case_for_universal_health_care_in_the_united_states.htm

and

http://www.pnhp.org/

Edit: Peanut Butter Burrito said it right on http://peanutbutterburrito.blogs.com/peanut_butter_burrito/2008/03/the-baby-bill.html

Not Rich Today

2008-02-23T11:25:00.000-08:00

No mega millions for me. But there is always next week. Maybe being a lawyer is the bigger plan meant for me. I'm feeling good about June. I think I needed a little break and now I am back. I am going to call my LSAT guru to make sure she can tutor me and then try to devise an attack plan for the next 3 months. But I feel good. The test is on a Monday and it's later in the day than the Sat. test. which is much better for me. I think I am doing the right thing (taking my time) I want to be uber prepared for the test, get a good score and go for as much grant/scholarship money as I can (just in case i don't win the lottory). I got my ticker up and I am ready.

Feelin lucky

2008-02-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

I won $8 from the mega millions and so now I am all set. I got my 8 quickpicks for Friday (the most I have ever spent). No one has won my money yet so I still got a chance at this pot now at 270 million. I am feelin lucky.

law school has now become my backup plan

Can watching TV be considered a hobby?

2008-02-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

No evening paralegal classes or lsat prep classes and working 10-6pm = lots of TV watching. This is the first time in years I haven't been in school part -time for something and my inner TV addict has come out in full force. We gave up our cable a long time ago because I wanted to save money. We had an antenna and netflix so at the time it was enough. But we didn't really use the netflix that much. I was always putting documentaries in the que that I thought sounded interesting but then come Friday night I was out picking up a pizza and whatever latest new release was at blockbuster. My husband also used the netflix queue to put in obscure Korean 1950s cult movies that he complained that he was never able to watch because the TV was always occupied. So needless to say over netflix movies sat on our DVD player collecting dust. Lately my blockbuster card has gotten a ridiculous amount of use but I can't bring myself to join anything of theirs because I actually dislike blockbuster but it is the only movie place close to our house. My husband called me out last week pointing out all the debit charges and gave me a 3 choice ultimatum netflix, cable tv or blockbuster's club. After a lot of thought (an embarrassing amount of thought) I choose Direct TV with DVR. It comes on Friday. Last night my husband and I were falling asleep on the couch watching a Nova special on the Parthenon it was fascinating but we were pooped after chasing munchkin all day. I could have taped it, we do have a recordable DVD player but it takes for ever to set it up and if takes more than a couple of button pushes on the remote it is just too much for me. I feel a major addiction coming on.

Monday Blahs

2008-02-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

To say I have a case of the Monday Blahs would be an understatment. I have been at work for 2 hours and have not done one work related thing. I decided that after years of trying to disprove the "you have to play to win" lottery theory that I probably would have better luck if I bought a ticket. This is my third drawing. I am hopeful because no one has won my money and it is now up to $150,000,000. I have some rules. I only play if the jackpot is over $70,000,000 ( if you are going to dream you should dream big) and I only spend $2. I am not sure what this says about me but if I won I would still go to law school (without the worry about loans or grades).

June LSAT

2008-02-08T09:53:00.001-08:00

June will be my month, really! I can feel it. My last practice test was a 160 and it was just too close for comfort. I would be happy with a 160 on the real thing. That is why I want to be scoring a solid 165. In the meantime I am really examing what I hope to do with a law degree and I am begining to lean heavily towards a dual degree, JD and MA in public policy. Also I am having pre-op testing right now for weight loss surgery which I will detail on another blog. But I am still plugging along and my dream of going to law school is alive and well.

WORK

2008-02-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

I was asked about my work recently and it inspired this post. I work at one of the mega global firms. However I am on a team, so even though the law firm has thousands of lawyers and over 40 just at this office I only really work with maybe 6 (at most) on regular basis. I am a project assistant also called case assistant (at some places) it's the equivalent of being a jr. paralegal. I work in transactional law so over 90% of the paralegal classes I took (I just recently got my certificate) have no relevance whatsoever to what I do but they were still a good foundation. I like transactional work because of the pace. Now that I have family I like knowing I will be at home for dinner every night. There are deadlines and sometimes there is pressure but defiantly not as intense as litigation. They often work until 11pm every night whenever a trial is coming up. I miss the adrenaline rush of being so busy sometimes, but I think for the most part I am happier doing this.

As far as paralegal work goes, it can get boring I do the same things over and over especially at my level. One of the downsides of working at this kind of place is you are competing with summer and first year associates for low level substantive work which means I do a lot of work that is not substantive. But I would not go back to a small firm, maybe mid level but not small. Small firms just can not compete with the pay and benefits of a larger place. The way to get the good work at a big firm as a paralegal is to become a specialist. The specialists I work with are considered experts in a certain area of the types of transactions we do. They do work that even 3rd or 4th year attorneys do and they bill as much as a starting associate but they have been doing it for 10 plus years. They make around 100,000 a year but associates make 190,000 minimum with bonus and they know squat, but that is how it works. That being said we have more than our fair share of bitter paralegals, it does work to inspire me to go to law school because I see my future everyday. I don't want to be bitter.

I would recommend to anyone who is interested in law and/or thinks they want to go to law school to become a paralegal. It is a great way to test the waters and make sure that is what they want. You meet all kinds of lawyers and see exactly what they do. Also I know a couple of paralegals who have been promised jobs if they go to law school even if it is not a top tier school. Although very rare it is possible to break in that way.

Oh right the LSAT

2008-01-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

I went to the library for a long overdue practice test today. It was
like going to the gym after skipping for months and then trying to do a
full 2 hour workout with weights AND high impact aerobics . In the
fourth section I thought I was going to die. Forget about even throwing
in an extra section for the experimental. I barely and I mean barely eeeked out a 160. The test is next Saturday and I am 90% sure that if I take it I will end up cancelling the score unless it feels unusually
easy and I finish all the sections. My wild card is games and to a
lessor extent reading comp. If the games happen to be ones that are
easier for me I can get into the low 160s if I struggle with more than
one game I am in trouble and drop to the high 150s. I have someone who
is great that will charge me 70 an hour for tutoring but that is still
a lot of money for us. I wouldn't be able to do that until after we get our tax
refund. I am going to take another test tomorrow and take some sections on
the train to and from work and on my lunch breaks this week. June is
not that far away, I was just hoping to get it over with.

Back from the EDGE

2008-01-24T17:37:00.000-08:00

Yes I did it. I fell prey and became a victim of my environment or as another paralegal put it "I drank the Kool-aid". No I did not see myself driving a BMW, wearing Gucci shoes, or vacationing in the Bahamas but I did see that $160,000 to start and $30-80,000 in bonus and think damn if I could get even close to that! I saw a nice house in a nice family neighborhood (and in So. Cal. that's $800,000- 1 million), a new car, private school for my monkey, and vacations (but it didn't have to be 4 star island vacations).

I had to snap myself out of it and come back to reality, when the reality is if I look around I see a bunch of depressed, workaholics, who think the packages they get everyday from mail order/Internet shopping make them happy. I see their faces every time their phones ring, the look of dread because they hate their clients. My office world is another planet, it is obscene! You could feed a family in Africa (a large family) for a year off the retail value of the purses alone that are in this office. This place is not me and I am glad. I just need to remind myself of that. I am the sole supporter of my family right now and this place is allowing for that, but it is not forever. Monkey will get older and be in school, husband will graduate and hopefully be employed as an engineer and I can spend more time doing good instead of doing evil by proxy.

I going to a wrongful conviction symposium in a couple of weeks and I am very excited! I need to be reminded of why I was drawn to the law in the first place. I want to look into public interest scholarships because these fancy firms are just not for me!

UPDATES

2008-01-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

I am seriously considering postponing the LSAT test again. The school which is my number one (realistically) still averages scores and I don't feel consistent enough (i.e. I am scared)

Our kitchen remodel is chugging along and I am very excited to have kitchen cabinets again, after 2 plus years of not.

Work is as boring as ever and I finally got an answer on my raise, it will take effect Jun. 1.

We have entered into the "adventures in toilet training". She is fascinated with the process but has yet to actually pee pee in the potty as of yet.

Husband is cruising along through his classes, still all As and he goes 2 days a week now and watches monkey the other 3 days (cutting our daycare bill in half yay!!!)

Not much new

2008-01-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

Not much new to report. Baby is not really a baby anymore she turned two at the end of December. She talking in sentences and we are about to begin adventures in potty training. She continues to amaze us everyday.

I dipped down in LSAT practice score to 160 and I am seriously considering postponing until June. I don't want to wait too long because it is all fresh in my head but I am not going to start till at least 2009 and I really really really want a 160 ++ .

Iowa

2008-01-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

Hillary is my girl. I just can't help it. I want to see a woman President finally elected. I even gave $10.00 to her campaign and entered a contest to have lunch with her. Sure she is a Demopublican and she is established establishment, but I buy into her the same way I bought into Bill. There is something about those two that make me believe they truly care about the people who need it the most. I see fresh idealism and energy in Barack but Hilary is someone I would want for a Mom. She just oozes compassion they way only woman and moms do.

And that is what is has come down to for Democrats like myself, popularity, who you think can win and who you think you would most want to have over to your house. Because when it comes down to it they are all the same candidate (the big 3) their "plans" for America are virtually identical. Honestly I would be more than trilled to see any one them as President. If another evangelical republican wins I am seriously moving to Canada.

Obsession

2008-01-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

I am obsessed with the LSAT. After my 164, which I convinced myself was a fluke, I panicked and tried to take another test but had to score myself after each section and then guesstimate the highest score I could get. After a couple of individual sections of this. I realized how crazy I am and I gave up on trying to repeat it this weekend. I will try again next weekend at the library (the library was closed this last weekend) and copy the test out of my book and leave the answers at home.

On a side note my father has really latched on to the idea of me going to law school. Up until a few years ago we ahead a strained relationship at best. We repaired our relationship a few years ago. Now he is so proud, a different proud than when I graduated from my teacher preparation program or talked about going to get my MA in Psychology. He shared with my husband that his big regret in life is not going to school, he feels he didn't really accomplish much in life. I think a lawyer to him is really being something. I am the first one in my family to get my BA, my grandfather on my father's side was a coal miner in West Virgina who died before I was even born. He doesn't understand when I say that if I don't get a good enough score I won't go to law school because I would probably make more being a paralegal at my fancy pants law firm than a lawyer from a low tier school. To him it's just being a lawyer. I wonder if it's just pride because I have worked with such snobby lawyers that I won't consider anything other then a tier 1? Hmmm.

Wish for the New Year

2007-12-29T18:37:00.000-08:00

That I am ready to take the LSAT in Feb. and get a 160 or above so I have never have to take that test again!

I haven't been studying very much since my last Powerscore class which was the Wed. before the Sat. Dec. 1st test. I had plateaued at 157ish and was really frustrated, so I cancelled and signed up for the Feb. test. Hubby and the baby went shopping today so I took a practice test and scored a 164, I had to recheck it 3 times because I didn't believe it. I still don't. I won't really believe it wasn't just a fluke until I take another test. But fluke or not it seemed to give me the burst of something I needed to go on and keep studying for this blasted thing. : O

Any excuse for a 4-day weekend

2007-12-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

Lawyers are Krazy. My office is open Monday and many of them are working but no one on my team, so I am off! I was spending my raise a little prematurely, it seems I am up against mega bureaucracy that does not like to part with $. One of the big cons of working for the biggest global law firm on the planet is it run by a mysterious THEY. If you ever find out who THEY are you will have to be killed.

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-21T16:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, I got over my bitter mood last night. It turns out the secret santa thing was a last minute thing a couple of them came up with last night and everyone has the same pissed off reaction I had. The paralegals cancelled the lunch, so I ran out at the last minute and got a gift for the partner I had who everyone unanimously told me to buy alcohol for. So here is what he got, it was a big hit at the lunch. The lunch was more fun then I thought but maybe I am saying that because I had a black and tan with my cheeseburger.