Thursday, September 27, 2012

off the face of the blogosphere

I fell off the face of the blogosphere for a while.   I was thinking of pulling the blog altogether.  I started it as a venting mechanism for the journey of going from big law paralegal to non-traditional law student to lawyer.  Well..... things didn't quite work out as planned, as many things in life, well... maybe MOST things in my life.

If the economic crash of 2008/09 did not happen while I was working for the real estate group of my fancy law firm things may have turned out quite different.  The original plan was to work maybe 30 hours at the firm and then go to the law school 6 miles down the street from work.  I really liked my group, I think they would have been extremely supportive and I would have had the support network that everyone needs to make it through the whole night school thing.

But alas I was laid off while husband was also out of work.  I took a job not even remotely close to home or school.  I started a new full-time job in a completely new practice area, while being the sole bread winner for a family of three.   This was not stressful enough apparently because I decided to  start classes instead of deferring knowing I was setting myself up to fail (but I am stubborn like that).

I was miserable trying to deal with everything including managing my social anxiety disorder. I knew I had made a mistake so I made no friends in my class (really bad if you are going to law school you need all the support you can get) and I knew my days were numbered.  I left before first semester finals at least saving myself from that torture.

Since then I been somewhat adrift.  I worked at the "your lucky to have a job" job for a while, quit that, had mid-life crisis, went to work in a special education classroom as an aide for SEVERELY disabled students.  I worked with a creepy tenured teacher (yuck!) but the kids were cute and I got to see a lot of my daughter. However, my paycheck was a pittance and I felt the gaping hole in my resume growing and it stressed me out.  Husband got a seemingly stable job (you never know these days) but it doesn't pay enough for me to stay at home, knit, bake cookies and find myself. 

Enter the well paying out-the-sky somewhat law related non-profit job after a series of frustrating interviews.  Oh the stories I could tell if I wasn't concerned about staying anonymous.  What a strange experience, everything you should never do while running a non-profit was being done there.  Dysfunctional would be an understatement to describe that organization but I felt for the sake of my resume I would  stay a year or two.  Not even 6 months there and who calls me out the blue?   Federal job, no I am not kidding and after only jerking my chain for 3 weeks (this time) with one let down only to be called again.  I got the magic letter with a start date, proper signatures and a job that was mine if I still wanted it (2.5 years later) with a pay cut (smallish) harder work (not necessarily a bad thing) and the warning that it will be the hardest job I have ever had.  I started Wednesday.

Yes, I am crazy.  But telling me it will be the hardest job I will ever have is more of a challenge than a warning.

I am no longer mom and law student but rather mom and paralegal who isn't completely sure what she wants to be when she grows up.... to be continued