Saturday, March 17, 2012

First week

I am simultaneously loving it and in a constant state of terror.  I have never been this on my own before.  It's a new position so work is slow to trickle in, (which is good!) because otherwise I might have a heart attack.  I have always had an attorney or senior paralegal 5 to 10 feet from me that I could run to if I needed but here it's largely just me.  My boss is a senior executive and crazy busy so I feel like I am there to make his life easier not run in asking questions every 5 minutes.

I need to trust myself more I have 5 years of paralegal experience and umm (*cough*) one semester of law school.  I can do this.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.........

The good -  A fun office, fun inspiring work going on, and room to take the job and make it my own.  The bad -  It's a long drive and a lot of time away from home.  Once again I begin my eternal quest for balance between work and mommy. 

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Last Weekend

It's my last weekend before my new job.  I only have half the items on my to-do list checked off and I'm tired.  Instead of taking it easy I created a to-do list that was totally overambitious.  I did spend a fun day with Monkey yesterday at a children's museum, fun but not relaxing.  It has been a packed week with Girl Scouts, softball, piano, bingo AND  a fish fry fundraiser.  I love having Monkey in sports but they really do fill up the week.

I am only one and a half modules into a thirteen module contracts course and I haven't even touched any trademark refresher stuff.  I am trying not to be worried I don't think they will expect me to know everything my first day, I HOPE!  But I do want to study more this weekend sometime in between the softball game Saturday and staffing the G.S cookie booth in front of the local grocery store on Sunday.  One of the more fun errands I did this week was buying clothes, I broke the bank!  I didn't have anything to wear.  I have been losing weight (slowly) and anything I could potentially wear I was swimming in.  I hate buying clothes at this weight I want to by them when I am three sizes smaller but what can you do?  For a serious job you need serious clothes.  It's fun to get dressed up sometimes but if I could I would probably live in flip flops and jeans.

Now the hard part, which outfit do I wear on Monday! 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Good things come to those who wait...

I just didn't know I would have to wait for so LONG!! But it finally happened I got a job!  It isn't for the federal agency that jerked me around forever but instead for a non profit foundation.  I couldn't be happier.  I am so excited!  Thus all the !!!!!!  I am no longer going to be having my midlife crisis working as a classroom aide.  I will be back working as a mom in the legal profession very soon.  I start next Monday.  I don't really feel the need to give notice per se at the school because they aren't going to hire another person. They will just call a sub and also it's not as though I need to train anyone the subs do just fine.  There lies my dilemma do I just call and tell them? or do I go to work for one more day to tell them, say goodbye and cuddle with the kids for one last day?  I haven't decided......

It's very tempting just to take the whole week off.  Monkey is off for 3 days, Monday, Thursday AND Friday, some faculty retreat then a training or something.  I have a lot to do, haircut, a few new clothes, cleaning the house (which I have seriously neglected due to job search depression)  also I think I'm going to take an online course through NALA.  It's a recorded, go through at your own pace online course in contracts.  I will be doing a lot of contract work at my new job and I am really nervous.  I got a huge salary bump in addition to getting to work for a great foundation.  I am scared that I am not going to prove worthy.

My anxiety issues are already rearing their ugly head.  Maybe I just snowed them in the interview and they think I know a lot more than I really do, that kind of thing.  Uggh I can be my own worst enemy.

When I was waiting to hear if I got the job I did a lot of praying.  I'm not particularly religious but I do believe in a higher power.  I have never really prayed before, not seriously but I did and it really helped to clam my nerves that coupled with xanax.  Now I have a lot of promises to make good on.  Mostly I prayed about being a better person.  Taking this job is a way for me to do good for both the world (they have a global impact) and good for my family (it's a good career move).  I promised to have a more positive attitude and appreciate what I have.  I am excited to have this fresh start.  There are some really brilliant people at my new job and I am going to go in and do my best, work hard, smile more, talk to everyone (I can be shy), and not get involved in negativity or workplace drama. Those are some lofty goals but getting this job was seriously like scoring on a Hail Mary pass.

I still a bit hung over, celebration margarita pitchers (I didn't know they came in pitchers) with some friends last night so 8 days until new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!