Thursday, July 22, 2010

Still Kicking

Waiting to hear if I am going to get the job that was offered to me or not.  I MAY get some more news today. In the meantime DH got a job!!! woohoo!! It doesn't pay that much & it is ridiculously far away and I mean really really far, like he is driving 5 hours  day.  But it's in the field he wants and he is hella excited to be there everyday which is so great b/c he was rejected from both of the early transfer programs he applied to for the fall. Both cited record number of applicants for the reason he was not getting a spot, but still it stung.  If he didn't have this job & was only headed back to Community College this fall it would have been a lot harder to take. 

Well at least one of our careers is headed in the right direction, mine has sputtered to a halt.  As I wait and wait to see if the funds are going to be there for me in the fall. Also b/c DH is never home now I cut my work hours, which has amazingly reduced my panic attacks & depression, go figure.  I had asked just to cut off an 1-2 hours a day, but only in bizarre corporate world with employee handbooks which are sacred texts not to be questioned, challenged or changed does it make more sense for me to work three (3) full days instead.  So being that was all they would do, I took it.  I'm paying through the nose for preschool w/ before & after school care ($900 a month) for 3 days a week.... strange. I am mostly working for the medical benefits and daycare.  It is fun for the summer a lot of her friends are home for the summer & we have some plans and play dates on the 2 weekdays I am home, but I am still anxious.

I still really want this job so much so it has ruined all other job prospects for me.  I look at other ads and I am not motivated, I can't bring myself to apply (not that there are many job ads to even apply to).  I am kind of hoping to get laid off, even though 2 lay offs in a row would suck on my resume.  I had to do a lot of explaining on why I was laid off in my interview, it was like wow you people really do work for the government, b/c being laid off ain't nothing in this economy... I explained & explained and finally just said "it was the real estate market & credit freeze", which is was and left it at that.  My references were great, I think that was a major reason I got the unofficial offer that now may be no offer at all.  

I'm rambling... so while the summer is fun, by fall I want my career to be in a different place.  I screwed up at work yesterday after saving the company several hundred dollars that morning I promptly lost it with a fine (on my screw up) that we are probably not going to be able to get out of.... major ooops! and reducing my hours was a major flag to company saying wow if she can do her job in 3 days, do we need her at all?  I knew that was a major risk w/ going p/t but I also commute and someone has to be w/ our child, so family first....

Anywho, I am still kicking