Sunday, November 30, 2008

Fried Turkey....

is really really good!!!! This was our first year doing it, we were a little late jumping on the bandwagon, but mmmm was it good! I think we are starting a new tradition. I love having 4 days off, unfortunately I am going into work today (Sunday) for billing and other stuff, I have been putting off. : (

No new news on the law school front, just that one of my recommenders made a mistake, which I found out after I sent out 11 applications! She stated in her letter of rec. that I have a MA degree, which I do not! I have a teaching certificate but not a MA. So now I am waiting for her replacement letter. Also the 3rd person who is writing a letter for me still hasn't finished it (she said she would write it a year ago).......

* this is not our turkey, ours wasn't quite so pretty but just as tasty

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Let the negotiating begin...

I got into law school via a phone call today (my absolute safety school) and they offered me a 70% merit scholarship. I was surprised I was expecting 90-100% from them, but they told me if I got other scholarship offers to send them copies and they would "reconsider" their offer, even though "they don't bid for students" it sounded like an opening offer to me. My husband told me not be a snob (and so I'm trying) and to be happy. Hopefully this is just the first of many to come. I THINK I AM GOING TO LAW SCHOOL!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I don't post enough pictures

So here is one, my hot husband oiling our new wood ikea counter tops, on top of our new ikea cabinets, with our new ikea sink in between. He is doing all the work himself, so our kitchen remodel has taken 3 years and it is still not done. I don't remember what it is like not to live partially out of boxes.

I LOVE MY SINK!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008


I just have to say I was shocked it passed and I am embarrassed for California right now. It was a bitter sweet night Nov. 4th.

Thursday, November 13, 2008


While I am waiting for my rejections and hopefully at least one acceptance. I have been a little light on things to talk about. I would post more about monkey but everything I write doesn't even come close to the magic I experience everyday watching her grow up. My marriage is solid and my job is boring, so I decided to steal some memes to get my writing juices started again.

Here is one:

1. Have you ever pooped in the woods? No, I have car camped only once when I was dating an outdoorsy person, but I am defiantly an, experience the great outdoors from scenic drives and cabins, person.

2. You are starving. You have not had anything to eat for days. In front of you is poison ivy, a live hissing cockroach, and a rotten stinky piece of some sort of mystery meat to eat. Which would you pick and why? I want to say cockroach but I have a real thing about them, they seriously freak me out, so it is a toss up.

3. Bottled or Tap water? Filtered tap

4. Your dream job, what would it be and why? Right now pro bono coordinator for a firm, so I can keep the better pay and benefits but still do the work I want to do. However, that could change in law school.

5. Do you have any snow globes? Yes, one. I have a Fargo snow globe it has Marge leaning over a dead body in the snow.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Time for school...

It is time to move on from the LSAT. I have had a few days now to process my results and I have decided it is time for school. The LSAT is not an end, only a means to an end. I was going to retake in Dec. thinking that 3rd time may be the charm but I talked to my admissions consultant who thinks it might not help and could hurt (it wasn't as bad as June's disaster but not as good as I was practicing at). Right now I am tweaking my PS for (hopefully) the last time and then I can start hitting send on my electronic apps. , then the real waiting starts.

I have decided to focus on $$ and who will most likely offer me the most $$. If it was a choice today of a school in the top 100 (excluding the top 20) at full tuition and a 3-4th tier with a full scholarship,, the scholarship would win. My husband and I already have loans from undergrad and I don't want anymore. We have a mortgage and private school tuition for monkey I don't need anymore financial burdens. I decided I don't just want tuition, but I want books and a barbri course,, I am in the mood for some deal making...

I have a friend in law school once she had a full scholarship offer she called all the other schools that she was interested in and asked them to match the offer. Granted she had a 170 and is one of the smartest people I have ever known,, but still, it can't hurt to ask. okay I am off to finish my PS and my addendum.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

More layoffs

More secretaries this week packing their one box and giving back their key cards. The rumor is the attorneys are going to get hit in Dec. after their reviews and billables for the year are done, but before they get their bonuses. BRUTAL!

I didn't get the in-house job. I am really not that upset about it. It would just be more corporation stuff. I just have to last here another 10 months unitl law school (wow that feels really weird to write).

Thursday, October 16, 2008

How could I forget you

UCI School of Law. Defiantly applying here. I have been working on my "why UCI law" statement for awhile but I am having problems. What is the appropriate way to say "I would f*cking sh*t myself if I could go to your school" and "you have a rockin' dean?"

I know, such a potty mouth but I have to get it out of system. I haven't been able to curse around the house in 2.5 years now.

Edit: But seriously the school is not even open yet, so I have just been writing about the dean and the faculty. However everyone will be writing about that, so I don't know how to stand out.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

CA girl

well it looks like the housing prices will stay where they are at for a while and so will we. Texas was a nice fantasy though and still am going to apply, what the hay? right? So if I am going to law school next year it will have to be in Cali. I haven't had any issues with anonymity and this blog. I guess I am just that anti-social. So I am going to post about the schools I am applying to. Here is my Cali list -

1. UCLA's School of Public Interest - ( I'm really dreaming big with this one but I'm pouring my heart into the two essays I'm writing + addendum's; defiantly my first choice)

2. Loyola

3. California Western - (Innocence Project - I may be crazy on this one I would have to take a train for 4 hours a day)

4. Southwestern - (interesting 2 year full time option)

5. Whittier - (only if I got a really good scholarship)

6. UC Davis - (might be good enough to take the loss on the house for this one, also a reach school)

7. Santa Clara - (northern CA Innocence Project - not so sure about taking the house loss for this one)

8. U of Pacific - (not prestigious but in Sacramento and government opportunities, not sure about moving for this one)

9. USC - (expecting a reject but its in LA so I have to try)

10. Boalt - (even bigger pipe dream but defiantly would move out of our house for this one)

Edit: Western State University College of Law sent me a fee waiver and a letter stating they offer generous scholarships, 25%-100% for those with a 152 and above. This school is interesting. In my working world it might as well be a non-ABA online school. But they do have a lot of alum in orange county including something like 25% of the areas prosecutors and judges. However, they have a horrible rep and are only provisional approved because they got in trouble with their bar passage rates. I don't know. No sense in giving it too much thought until I see how everything shakes out, I guess.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Not so much

Am I taking this whole process of applying to law school in stride? ummm not so much. Between waiting for my LSAT score and waiting to hear back about my job interview my anxiety level is through the roof right now. Last night I cried on the train on the way home because we got an overdraft fee taken out of our bank account. Not a pretty sight!

I told my LSAT tutor I think I got a least a 158 on the test, as for my goal to be in the 160s I have no idea. So it started to hit me today that if I did get a 158 on the LSAT ummm I'm going to law school!?! I think someone will take me. Who, where and how much $$$ g-d only knows but I could go. I think back to when I first saw the LSAT and swore only geniuses could do the games. I remember my first attempts, where I would write out the names like James, Sarah and Frank instead of J, S, F because I didn't know any better and my first attempt that was somewhere in the 140s. I guess I have come a long way.

I started to look at books on how to succeed in law school and suggested first year summer reading lists and I got really excited. I'm going to law school !!! I think the financial mess we're in right now maybe a blessing in disguise. My big firm paralegal career aspirations have soured and I am not so confident that in 10 years I will be making $100,000. I want to pursue government and public interest opportunities in law school. I don't want pretend to be interested in my clients matters everyday. I want to care about my work.

Okay enough rambling for now.............

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Life goes on

Life goes on even when you are applying to law school. Work has been scary dead for some time now. I manage to keep myself "busy" (being a relative term) only because I never got my promotion or raise so my billing rate is "cheap" (again being a relative term) . I am also pretty well liked so I get dribbles of work from here and there.

They just had the first round of real layoffs at my office. I was spared. The first round is always people "they" don't like. Mostly it was people who are difficult personalities to work with or pissed off management for some reason or another. No lawyers have been laid off (yet), why lay off someone who makes $200,000 + when you lay off 3-4 secretaries and assistants? They still offered all the summers jobs and are starting the first year class as usual, typical big firm crap. I did hear one rumor though about a partner being asked to leave after December because all his clients are going bankrupt.

You never know who is safe from being laid off. They're a law firm so anyone who is pregnant or has any medical problems is safe. They're also very hesitant to lay off minorities, so you never know where you fall on the list of people to ax. I had a job interview a week ago to go in-house. I think it went well. It was an in person interview after a phone interview that went really well. I think I am going to take it if is offered to me, it is the only call back I have gotten. Job ads are slim pickins these days. I have a recruiter who keeps calling me but I don't think I want to jump firms. It would just be more of the same. If I can't go in-house I think I'll just try to move to a busier practice area, like bankruptcy. Not my first choice but what can you do in this economy? At least as far as big law goes.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


Time to change the ticker again to "countdown to score". I am very happy it is over!!
I had the exact same damn order as June


and again I did better on the second than the first but the this time the second was the real!!! wohoo it went in my favor this time!! So I feel okay about all the sections except Games, June was easier. I struggled on two of the games. However I left this time not wanting to cry or throw up, so I am taking that as a good sign. We shall see what happens now.

Friday, September 12, 2008


So my life.. I get all excited about Texas, start talking to my parents about retiring there and then WTF!!!!

I have to say though I experienced my first high rise earthquake a few weeks ago and I DID NOT enjoy it. It wasn't even very big, but big enough to remember I am on the 24th floor and pretty much S.O.L. if any sort of disaster happens. My stomach still drops if the floor shakes because a heavy box has been set down or if there is any work being done above or below us. Last year we had a fire drill. It takes a good 20-30 min. to walk down 24 flights of stairs. I was so sore I hobbled around for almost a week.

So what is worse, the threat of the "BIG ONE" or some wind and rain????


Friday, August 29, 2008


I am really into spreadsheets, they are like crack for list makers (that would be me). Somebody might remember this scariness LINK. Well I started another

All the schools I am going to apply to, if they have PT programs, early decision, length allowed for personal statements and other goody info. I took off a school today that I for sure wouldn't want to go to, but had on my list just because it is a Tier 2 in CA. I still have 20 on my list! Thank goodness for fee waivers, otherwise $50 (at least) for 20 applications is $1000. I got a fee waiver for the LSAT so I hoping fee waivers won't be a problem. I am just really ready to apply, curse you June LSAT!!! But I am waiting to write my addendum re: my difference in LSAT scores and why they shouldn't pay any attention to that 152, until after I get my Oct. score, so I can avoid jinxing myself and looking/feeling like a dumb ass if it all doesn't go the way I plan. I wish Oct. was here already! oy vey!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

New Addiction

I am addicted to, the site where people plug in their GPAs and LSAT scores into a database which the site then puts into a graph for each school, showing who has been rejected, waitlisted and accepted. I check every school I am interested in about 5 times a day (work is very slow!). I need to stop. The really funny thing is I don't even have a GPA . I went to one of the maybe 5 schools in the country that has pass/fail (not Brown or UC Santa Cruz, I wish). My LSAC academic report is so sporadic I need to write an addendum, I took a long break in the middle of getting my BA and then there is some community college (paralegal certificate) and some community college classes from High School that I didn't drop and got Fs in. My paralegal stuff is 4.0 but considered graduate and not factored in the my GPA so this is what it looks like:

Grade Earned - Semester Hours
3.50 & Up A 8.7
2.50 - 3.49 B 15.4
1.50 - 2.49 C 4.0
D 0.0
0.49 & Down F 9.0 [FROM MY SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL 1992!!!]

Unconverted 64.0

Degree (Summary) GPA: 0.0 Cumulative GPA: 2.34
Degree Semester Hours: 0.0 Cumulative Semester Hours: 37.1

So out of 101 semester hours I have 64 that are pass. I talked some of the admissions reps. at one of those LSAC fairs but they just said they would take other factors into account, resume, personal statement, etc., but that is not much help when you are trying to figure out where you stand with something like

I am also trying to write a powerful but very personal and risky personal statement about an addiction problem I had 8 years ago (not

I am a mom, 34, have an interesting resume, the first one in my family to go to college let alone grad school, and I converted to Judaism. There has to be some points in there for diversity, right?

Friday, August 22, 2008


Up until now my law school search has been confined to CA. I grew up in CA and my husband likes it here. My parents are here which is a big concern. They are very helpful and monkey adores them and vice versa. We go over to visit them at least once a week, so it was important that we stay close to them. Monkey and my mom and dad would be devastated if they didn't see each other often. We were out to breakfast with my parents one morning and out of the blue my dad said he wanted to get a large piece of land with either a big house or with two houses so we could all live together and hubby and I could finish school. I know my parents will end up living with us someday anyway. We don't have any other family and I refuse to put them in home. So I started thinking that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. My dad is turning 66 and just had a cancerous kidney removed and we have only recently repaired our relationship (I didn't speak to him for over 15 years, due to us both being stubborn). He also has high blood pressure and has been smoking since he was 11, the cardiologist also said he has scar tissue on his heart so I worried about the number of years we have left with him.
We couldn't do it in CA, but my parents could conceivably cash out their homes here and move to a place with a lower cost of living and get a large enough house w/ a guest house that we could live in and not kill each other. The only other state I think I would consider living in is Texas. It is warm (we need warm but not too hot or humid i.e. the deep south) and not too cold. It has some cities with very affordable surrounding areas/suburbs. My parents, husband, and I have all been to Texas and like Austin (but I don't think U of T law in Austin is realistic for me) and from what I am reading online, job prospects look good.
I am very curious if anyone had any thoughts on Texas??????????

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Today at work I found out we have a proofreader! Yes that is right someone whose job it is to proofread our work before it goes out to clients! wha? I have been working here a year and didn't know that. Besides that we have secretaries, word processors, assistants (me), paralegals, and lawyers and support staff up the wazoo.

Did I mention the partners retreat this year cost 14 million! That is not including the various practice retreats they also have every year.

As long as I am ranting about money you don't even want to know how many young associates complain about how expensive children are and how they don't when they will be able to start their families. Most of them even have spouses who also make 15o,000 plus. I know the city is expensive and they have school loans but even still as couples they are grossing something like 25,000 a month!

I am so glad I didn't fall into the "it takes a million dollars to raise a child" belief. Don't get me wrong, it is hard and I don't know what we would do without my parents but having her was the best thing I have ever done. She is the greatest joy in our lives and I wouldn't trade her for all the ipods, luxury cars, vacations or mansions in the world.

Break and update

Took a little break from posting for two reasons, work and my dad. My dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had to have his kidney removed all within a three week period. I don't think it really even hit me until after the surgery what had happened. But everything went fine and he is home recovering but still in a lot of pain. The doctors got all the cancer out so my dad doesn't have to undergo any chemo. At 66 his main concern is getting back to work. He tried to retire a few years ago and got so bored he went back to work.

The other thing I have had going on is a work thing. We had a little excitement when it looked like our client might be dragged into some litigation but it is highly unlikely. I got to court for hearing which is always exciting for me and I get to go again in two weeks. I love court!

Anywho, just a quick update. I have missed even more powerscore classes these last two weeks and now the class is almost over. It is was all refresher anyway so I don't feel that bad. I think in Sept it will hit me that I am taking the LSAT again. Right now it still feels far away.....

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

under 2 months

My fellow pre-law-er over at is showing me up with all those damn good scores (I kid.. you are rocking those practice lsats!). If I figure out how to do it, I am going to add a bar with my scores as well. Under 2 months woo hoo!!!! Time to kick it up a notch.

Starting with Aug. 2 - 163 (percentile 89.4%) Doh!!! damn elusive 90% !!!!

Thursday, July 31, 2008


My Mom's Worries As A Law Student - One Less Worry

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Things in 3s

Apparently there is a long history of the significance of the number 3. My DH could elaborate, he is the trivia nerd (still bitter he didn't get invited to try out for jeopardy, but that is another story) of the two of us. 3 bad things that happened to me recently are:

1. Disappointing LSAT score

2. Didn't get my raise/promotion at my yearly review (economy and layoffs in my practice area at other firms, so my firm is scared and froze all new hiring and promotions)

3. Insurance fiasco and rejected for gastric bypass surgery

I have been really depressed about the above for a couple of weeks now, but I have been plugging along and things this week are starting to look up.

1. Had a breakthrough with sufficient and necessary this week. Took an LR section and went up 3 points from my last one, not huge but it just felt different, less relying on my intuition and more understanding and still finished comfortably before time.

2. Huge amount of pressure and stress relieved at work. I am not scrounging around for projects and trying to bill like a mad woman because I know it doesn't matter, so I no longer feel stressed about being slow. I am enjoying the time to study.

3. Just got a call from my Dr. office, there could still be hope this Gastric Bypass thing could work out and I could stay with my current surgeon.

On a side note I am really trying to not to be negative about having to retake the LSAT. I am trying to turn it into a positive, telling myself "I will get a better score than I would have even if I didn't have my meltdown."

On a second side note Good Luck Bar Takers!!!!!!!

Wha????????? you say???


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm old!!!

Went on a mini vacation this weekend, it was arranged months ago before the June LSAT, it was nice but I got so sunburned it made me physically ill. Hubby and monkey didn't put any sunscreen on and they were fine (they go to the park or beach everyday). Mama on the other hand sits in an office all day and fries up as red as lobster in the sun : (

So between illness and the vacation I have missed 3 PS classes. I am feeling guilty, I need to focus and get my motivation back.

I did however finish drafting my law school resume, it is 3 pages long!!! geeshh I'm old!!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


  • Sent 4 page personal statement to hubby to see if he could chop out the non-interesting chunks of my life story (I am convinced every word is critical and the essay completely falls apart, when I try).

  • Did PS homework. The sufficient and necessary drills are so much easier this time around. Also I got every in-class question correct (Baruch Ashem!)

  • Sent away second cover letter for recommendation (only 1 to go!)

  • Rethinking and researching 3 and 4 tier schools (they don't look so bad when I realize they may be the only acceptances I get).

Monday, July 14, 2008

More Studying

This weekend was my first "repeater" class. I thought I would be bored out of my mind and I sort of was in the games section, but for the rest of the class I wasn't. It was a good refresher. For the past 6 months since I first took the class I have been concentrating disproportionately on games. Although I did badly on June's games, I have been getting 18-20 on games every time in practice, doubling what I used to get. It used to be, by far, my worst section. This weekend I did two practice sections, games and LR. On games I did 3 perfect games and ran out of time on the fourth, getting 18 out of 22 correct. On LR though I thought I did really well and was expecting over 20 but I missed 7 and only got an 18. My plan for the next 2 + months is to focus on LR and RC the same way that I did games and get my score to a -4 or less for those sections. Also I plan to do ALL the homework, something I did not do my first time around.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


We put monkey into a private school she has been on a waitlist for since she was 14 months. It has been a rocky two weeks. They can start there at 2.5 and potty trained. We thought she was ready but they told us today, she is not "toilet independent" enough. It really sucks. She really loves it there. However, they said they would still hold a spot for her in the fall, if we can get her go to the potty more "independently." Apparently when the teachers ask her if she has to go potty she says "no, I'm playing" or "maybe later I'm busy."

I feel like a bad mommy....... : (

Personal Statement

I have been writing my personal statement in emails at work. Who I am trying to fool? I don't know. There is no one watching me or that even cares what I am doing all day as long as I get the few projects I have done (my practice area is dead right now).

I saw my tutor last weekend and she made suggestions on where to elaborate and what to cut out. She sent me home to start over. I rewrote it all day yesterday and then cut and pasted it into WORD, to check the length. It is 4 pages with no paragraph breaks and I still have more to say!

My number one choice, the school I am applying early-binding-decision to, is a strict "not to exceed two double spaced pages" with a 12 point font. 2 pages!!! sure if your 22 and don't have anything more interesting to talk about than the summer you worked as a camp counselor.

Also, I need to post more. I can't stand seeing my score every time I bring up this page.. blah.......

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Next few months

Thanks to everyone for there "good lucks" and encouragement. As my tutor says, if you are going to bomb, "do it big" and I did. There is no choice but to get back on the horse and do it again, besides I am just pissed, I know I can do better. My new goal is to be solidly in a 163-168 band in my practice tests, ambitious I know, but I will go in with more confidence and I think I will be a lot less likely to completely choke and freeze up.

I am going to repeat the PS class. It started on Tuesday. I need the motivation and focus and I can't afford to keep tutoring every week. I have been sick all week, so I am starting the PS class on Saturday. I am officially a "repeater"!

Saturday, July 5, 2008


Well I said I would post my score no matter how painful, so here it is:


Here is a breakdown of my raw scores (number I got correct), my goal was to adverage 20 on each section putting me at a raw 80 or 161:

RC - 12 (Section I blew big time, I had a complete panic-meltdown and literally missed the entire last half of the section, but I thought it was the experimental, well it wasn't, it was the real one, I completely confused the passages)

LR - 18 (Better than I thought I was still traumatized from my panic attack in the first section and thought I did a lot worse)

LG - 15 (This was just plain careless nervousness, I was rushing through and I missed two questions on each game)

LR - 19 (Only surprise, I thought I did better this section at least over 20)

And of course I feel like I did really well on the experimental RC, otherwise I would not have kept this sad score.

Should have cancelled, my tutor and husband were so right. But curiosity just had to kill the cat.

Well I had a day to pout and doubt myself and I am 90% over it. I am seeing my tutor tomorrow to talk about my personal statement and possibly retaking the PS class.

I got my score Thursday and left work early, upset. I sat on the train and started doubting myself. "am I ever going to be good at taking the real thing? is law school the right choice?" etc., etc. Then I saw someone reading a newspaper on the front page was the story headline " Study of Death Row Finds System is Flawed". I am passionatly against the death penalty and really want to work with the innocence project, unfoutunalty the closest chapter to me is two hours away.

Well I am not ready to give up, just yet. So here we go again, count down to Oct.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


By nature I am not a patient person, so this killing me. Even though I have fully prepared myself for a disappointing score and to retake in Oct., I am dying to get my score. I read online I could get the score as early as July 3rd!! They sometimes release the score the Friday before the official date and next Friday is a holiday.............. could time go any slower?

Friday, June 20, 2008


I am so sick! I got the post-stress cold with a vengeance. I even started drinking airborne a week before the test but apparently the LSAT stress was too strong. Despite both my tutor and my husband's encouragement to cancel and retake, I am 95% sure I am keeping. I double checked and all but one of the schools I am applying to told me they take the highest score. So I can keep and retake in theory without penalty. I just can't let it go. I know curiosity isn't really a good reason to keep it but I am dying to know. I am almost positive the first section I had was the experimental and that is the one I really tanked. However, I also know my second section was not my best effort or even close. I think I did good to alright on the last three. So if I had to guess maybe a 155 -157 best guess. However, I am praying for a miracle and blind/dumb luck to eek out a 160. I was practice testing in the low-mid 160s. I am taking a week or two off and then I going to finish up my personal statement and addendum.

On another note I just did a volunteer/pro bono shift at a low income legal aid clinic. I loved it. I wish I could go every week but I think they might notice that in the office, so I am going once a month. I felt really comfortable there, just as I did when I used to work for non-profits. I am seriously thinking that public interest is where I belong. I have started researching my financial options. I know I have to be really careful about what school I go to (LRAP) and how much debt to take on. And I thought the LSAT was the hard part! I'm thinking this is going to be almost as much work.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


If it was a horse race I would have been the horse that remained in the gate bewildered and then only after seeing all the other horses bolt out of their gates would I have then realized, oh sh-t I am supposed to be in this race.

Royally screwed up my first section, RC didn't even get to read at least 7-10 questions (it is still a little blurry), was still jolted and upset in the second section, tried, but still had to guess on several. Third section another RC (holy crap! I could still be in this) pulled my head out of a** and got in the race the last 3 sections. Was it enough to place? I highly doubt it. I want to see my score but know it will be upsetting. I am seriously considering cancelling, since one of the schools I want to apply to still averages. I am playing phone tag with my tutor/admission consultant to discuss. I was okay and laughing about it yesterday. But it is hitting me today and all I want to do is cry.............................

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Worked like crazy this week to get out stuff before I go on "vacation" next week. Felt quasi attorney- ish this week I drafted doc.s outside of my team's specialty and for xtra fun, recently laws have changed and needed to be incorporated into the doc.s. Fun but I am stressed and terrified I did them wrong. Do you still feel like that when you are an attorney or does it get even worse? Anywho they were sent off to the client and I am praying that they don't email before 5pm Friday (tomorrow yeah!!) Now I am tired and just doing the bare minimum on stuff I can reasonable get "out the door" before tomorrow. I am so glad I am taking a week off!!!!!!!!!! Also just to prove what a freak I am about the LSAT I got personalized pencils made with reassuring phases (that met the max. amount of letter/spaces). Most places were expensive or you had to buy about a over 100 of them. But then I found these -

that were only 13.00 for 2 dozen, but when they said NEON colors they mean NEON. Mine say

"relax calm confident positive"
"all my hard work will pay off"


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Was there a 3 day weekend?

I tried my best not to anything this weekend and I still feel like I could spend another week on the couch. I went to LSAT tutoring on Sunday and only did 3 sections on Monday. I am so tired. I flailed on RC (the first section) but Games (third section) I got 3 wrong and finished before time. I am defiantly thinking I should do some warm up on the day of. Not time myself or even look at the answers, but just warm up. I am laying off studying too much this week. I think I will focus on review and maybe some RC sections but just 1 at a time. I am tired and feel like I might be coming down with something. Monkey threw up this morning in the car while husband was driving me to work. She had nothing but milk in her stomach so it was just like spit up but with much bigger pieces of curd. We had to get off the freeway and clean her up and change her clothes. You think we would be done with that at age 2 1/2. Ah the adventures of parenting!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Work! Who can work at a time like this?

Coming to work has become torture. It is not that busy, so I feel absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything. All I want to do is study and practice relaxation exercises. I wish I could have taken two weeks off, but having a 2 year old that brings home every germ ever known to man, pretty much sucked up all my PTO time. I barely even have the week to take off, paid that is. I cracked 165 (on an older test) this last week and at this point I know that I am my own worst enemy. So I have begun looking up ways to manage test anxiety. Normally I would balk at this stuff but............... not now!

Practice relaxation exercises along with positively visualizing the exam going well for you. A simple relaxation technique is to sit or lie quietly and begin by focusing on your breathing. Breathe slowly and regularly and say "relax" with every exhalation. Do this for at least five minutes and as long as 20 minutes. Once you achieve a state of deep relaxation, say positive self-statements, such as: I am a good student; I am relaxed, calm, alert and confident on exams; I see myself accomplishing my goals; I am capable; I have confidence in myself. Then, while still in this deeply relaxed state, picture yourself taking your upcoming exam. See yourself calm, relaxed, alert, clear and confident on the exam. See yourself correctly answering all the questions and the exam going well for you. Visualize yourself succeeding. Do this relaxation and visualization exercise each day in the days before the exam and during the half hour or so before the exam.

Throughout the exam focus on remaining calm, relaxed, and positive. Check your breathing often. Keep it regular and slow. Make sure your breathing is from your lower lungs. Avoid rapid, shallow upper lung breathing which tends to increase anxiety levels. Check your neck and shoulder muscles and loosen any tight areas.
Throughout the exam say positive self statements to yourself and push away any disturbing or distracting thoughts. Say things like: I am a good student; I am very capable; I am learning more each day; My memory is improving each day; My mind is clear and alert; I see myself accomplishing my goals; I have confidence in myself; I am an intelligent, talented person; I am relaxed, calm and confident on my exam; I am eliminating any distracting or disturbing thoughts.
Allow yourself the whole test period to finish the exam. Do not allow those who leave early to bother you. They often are not the ones who do best.
Remain clear, calm, confident and positive.
Maintain an alert mind and a cheerful attitude throughout the exam.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

beetles are good luck, right?

The LSAT and to a lessor extent applying to law school is making me crazy. I am completely obsessed with the process. I had my hand at other careers, mainly teaching and social services. I even took the MAT and applied to a graduate psychology program (not for me). I wasn't even a quarter as obsessed as I am now. I barely studied for the MAT, it was more like I looked it over before I took it. I just didn't care. Not like this.

Anyway one of the reasons I have been so busy these last 2 weeks is I am getting some actual pro bono work (very exciting!!). I was at a training all day on Saturday so I could volunteer at a legal aid clinic doing family law for low income adults. The training was at a law school that I am planning on applying to. It is not my safety school or my reach but more of a middle of the road school. I would me more than ecstatic if I got in there. I was sitting at the breakfast waiting for the training to begin when I see this huge beetle crawling on my arm. The guy (poor guy) next to me tried to get it off but it just seemed to disappear. Later in the same room for lunch the same beetle crawled across the floor next to me. I am not a superstition person at all, (well maybe a little) but I don't care. I am taking it as a sign. A GOOD SIGN.

Monday, May 19, 2008


Cause that's my fun day! Well it used to be, now it is LSAT day. I have been so busy these last 2 weeks, I skipped out on my Sunday tutoring to do a test with the "LSAT proctor". It was okay. It was a little weird and low budget but having someone else call time is really nice. I had to turn off the distractions. They were a little too much, pencil tapping, people talking/clearing throats, then all of a sudden a helicopter! Even with the extra distractions turned off, there were still doors squeaking and papers rustling around. I think I will work myself into the extra distractions. Also, I only did 4 sections. I need to get my endurance up. I am exhausted after 4 sections and my eyes start crossing. I got 163 yesterday and on the two previous ones I got 164. So I am feeling pretty good. Baring some major catastrophe I will take it in 28 days. I put in for a week off, so I will have a total of 9 days off! I will do a test a day, five sections plus the writing section. It will also be a mini vaction. I plan to see "Sex in the City" and use a gift certificate I got for Mom's Day for a pedicure and a message. It only took me 10 months! But I am starting to feel "solid".

Monday, May 5, 2008


I love my LSAT tutor! She is really great. I saw her for 3.5 hours yesterday. We spent maybe 2 hours pounding out games and logic questions and the rest was LSAT therapy. I always feel so calm and good about myself when I see her. We talked a lot about improving my confidence. I discount or make excuses for how I could be testing in the 160s. It's as if I only think I am capable/worthy of a score in the 150s. I seriously need to stop that, instead of making it a self-fulling prophecy. We also talked about how much time to take off of work before the test (1 week) and what to do for that week. Also we had the "will I be ready in June" talk , she thinks "yes" and I think "I can't do this until Oct." so it's June or bust!!!

PS I thought this was the goofiest thing when I first saw it and now less than 6 weeks until the real thing I bought it!

I couldn't help myself! It's a virtual proctor on DVD and it has people coughing on it!! I even paid the extra $3.00 to get it in 2-3 days!!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I haven't posted for a while because I have been so busy at work and attempting to study that writing has fallen on the back burner. Also I love comments but I don't get very many of them, so I don't think anyone is reading. (* hint hint ;) *)

I am almost at the 6 week mark for the countdown to the LSAT and I am trying to not FREAK OUT.. I mean stay calm. I am still in the low 160s (low low) which is making me nervous. I am afraid of getting nervous and dropping five points or more on the really thing, putting me in the 150s. That is not going to do it for getting any scholarships or even getting into a good school.

Also not the best timing, is my job situation. If I have any hopes of getting a raise and promotion this summer (1 year review time) then I have to bill. To bill, I need to be busy and that = stress, not sleeping and mediocre attempts at studying. Part of me wants to blow off my job and just think about the test. The more responsible part of me sees the $15,000 raise that comes with being promoted and thinks about my family. Another option is postponing again until Sept. but with all the tutoring is just doesn't make sense. Besides if I don't get this test over with. I think I will have to kill myself. (bad humor)

My sleep habits the last couple of weeks have really sucked. I can't sleep unless I take sleeping pills which make me groggy and only gets me shallow sleep which makes me even more tired. I tapered off the pills but I haven't slept well in almost two weeks. I broke down and got some melatonin but I am still groggier than hell. I have become an insomniac and I don't know what to do :(

Friday, April 11, 2008

Parlez vous francais?

I don't. Not a lick. But I am going to a "Orientation Tea" at a French immersion preschool to kiss some derriere and put my monkey on yet another waiting list.

If you would have told me I would be going to this thing 3 years ago I would have told you that "crack is wack" and to put down the pipe. But I don't know who I have become. It is in two weeks and I am already thinking about what all 3 of us are going to wear. I am ashamed.

But in my own defence we live in the outer edges of the city, in a not so great area. It is not as though we have a whole gaggle of schools to choose from that are in reasonable driving distance from our house. So off we go to hunt out 1) a good school 2) one that doesn't have a wait list 2 miles long and she can actually get into; and 3) one that doesn't cost more than my college tuition.

In addition we are also going to a fundraising book-sale/pancake breakfast at another school where she is already on the list. We were told she might have a chance since we put her on the list at 14 months. My husband is getting up at 5 in the morning to go cook pancakes as a volunteer. Why do I get the feeling this is only the beginning?????????

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I want another thing in my house that EATS & POOPS and I want to pay $50.00 for it !?!

Are you kidding!!

We had a couple of frustrating potty training days last week (the novelty wore off) and I had a moment this weekend and bought a little mommy fisher price potty doll. The doll "drinks" from a bottle and then when you put it on "potty chair" a little magnet makes her "pee". But this one is just too much! You have got to be kidding, playing with poop is something we encourage our daughter NOT to do. Plus I already have to buy food and diapers for one kid, why in heaven's earth would I want to buy diapers for a doll? Besides this thing is just creepy! In my favorite review on Amazon a woman points out to make sure to clean it really well inside and out becuase the food inside the doll molds!!!

  • Playing "mommy" is more fun than ever with BABY ALIVE, the doll that "eats" and "poops" just like a real baby!

  • Feed her or give her a bottle, and then get ready to change her messy diaper!

  • When this doll is "hungry" you can mix up some of her special doll food!

  • She really eats and tells you how she likes it with fun electronic phrases like, "Mmm good!"

  • Doll comes with dress, 2 doll diapers, bottle with nipple and cap, bowl, spoon, 4 packets of doll food and bib

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Test Preparation That Never Ends

How scary is this? With the help of my tutor I am plowing away at almost every available LSAT test between now and June. I am doing 1-3 Sections a day plus review, and a full test 1-2x a month. If I don't get at least a 160+ in June I am seriously reconsidering this law school thing.

Monday, March 17, 2008


Monkey came into my office last Friday she had lots of fun getting oodles of attention and little desk toys from all the Secretaries. She had so much fun that when it came time to leave she had a tantrum/melt down in my Boss/Partner's office. I picked her up and swiftly took her out of the office leaving her and my husband at the elevators, with husband trying to talk her out of taking off her pants. I was a little embarrassed even though my Partner is probably the nicest boss I have ever had. Today however a different Partner (not my boss) went storming down the hall yelling "he is a f*cking psycho path" (referring to a client) several times and now I am not so embarrassed. At least Friday's tantrum came from a 2 year old.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


I have my first tutoring session this weekend, Who Hoo !!!!!
Sat. from 12-2pm. I have been telling any random person who will listen the whole story of how its only $75.oo an hour as opposed to the usual $120.00 and about how a higher score could give you back that investment 10 fold and bla bla bla blahhh..... no one cares what I am babbling about. I am just trying to convince myself. All I can think of is how I am coughing up a $150.00 dollars for 2 hours!

There is not enough time to take a whole new practice test so I am pulling the last couple I took and some games that have driven my batty. I am already feeling motivated. It's the Jenny Craig effect (Jenny Craig is big among the women in my office right now) you spend so much money for that crappy food you force yourself to eat it and loose weight just because your pissed at how much $ you are spending.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Kick in the A*S

Apparently I need to pay someone $75.00 an hour (which is a good rate) to kick me in the above aforementioned body area. I am not complaining about my new tutor, because she is fantastic.
While I do need help with games and maybe some reading comp. (really how am I still missing main point questions, didn't I learn those in the 4th grade?) what I really need from her is the kick. I am a little disappointed in myself that I need to find outside motivation. I have always thought of myself as self motivated. But that is what I need, what can I say the LSAT sucks!

Thursday, March 6, 2008


Well if this doesn't make me feel ridiculous for not having taken the LSAT yet.....................

Eight-year-old passes law school entrance test

March 7, 2008 - 6:01AM

An eight-year-old Brazilian boy has passed a law school entrance exam - earning him praise and shocking the country's legal profession.
The Brazilian Bar Association said the achievement of Joao Victor Portellinha should be taken as a warning about the low standards of some of the nation's law schools.
"If this is confirmed, the Education Ministry should immediately intervene ... to investigate the circumstances of this case," said the association's president in Goias state, Miguel Angelo Cancado.
The boy is still in Year 5 - two levels ahead of normal for his age - but his mother says he's not a cloistered genius.
"He is a regular boy," she told the Folha de S Paulo newspaper.
"He is very dedicated, likes to read and study, but he has fun and makes friends."
The Universidade Paulista, a multi-campus private university, said today that the boy won't be enrolling any time soon. He still has to graduate from high school.
"My dream is to be a federal judge," the boy said, according to Globo TV's website.
"So I decided to take the test to see how I would do ... It was easy. I studied a week before the test."

Law Firms

I just discovered the blog below. For life in big time law firm, she has some great and oh so true stories.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Universal Health Care

I just have to chime in with a personal story. My father is retired military (20 years service) and a Vietnam vet who saw active combat. Recently he went for dental work and while the work was being done his blood pressure dropped. The dentist called for an ambulance and by law was taken to the closest hospital which was Kaiser. The Kaiser doctors wanted him admitted but didn't know anything about his medical insurance which is Tricare a government plan for veterans which my father pays premiums for every month (he even pays extra for a "deluxe plan"). Kaiser then tried calling other hospitals but they wouldn't take him without a "contact" person (a doctor who is willing to accept him) and since no one was familiar with his insurance long shory short he ended up a state hospital. We followed the ambulance there and it was worse than stepping into the largest homeless shelter in downtown LA (I have volunteered there). My mother, husband and myself tried to talk my father into getting into the car with us and just leaving but he wouldn't he stayed the night. The next day he still had not been seen by a doctor and the heroin addict in the next bed finally got on his nerves enough that he signed himself out and walked out. My husband picked him up and took him straight to his doctor's office. It was a nightmare my father was sick and instead of being able to focus on him I was literally on the phone with hospital admin.s talking about insurance. Our systemis broken. There is no excuse in a country as rich as ours. Everyone should be as educated and as healthy as they can be. It is not a hand out when it benefits society and the community as a whole. Here are some links and that is my 2 cents.

The Case For Single Payer, Universal Health Care For The United States


Edit: Peanut Butter Burrito said it right on

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Not Rich Today

No mega millions for me. But there is always next week. Maybe being a lawyer is the bigger plan meant for me. I'm feeling good about June. I think I needed a little break and now I am back. I am going to call my LSAT guru to make sure she can tutor me and then try to devise an attack plan for the next 3 months. But I feel good. The test is on a Monday and it's later in the day than the Sat. test. which is much better for me. I think I am doing the right thing (taking my time) I want to be uber prepared for the test, get a good score and go for as much grant/scholarship money as I can (just in case i don't win the lottory). I got my ticker up and I am ready.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Feelin lucky

I won $8 from the mega millions and so now I am all set. I got my 8 quickpicks for Friday (the most I have ever spent). No one has won my money yet so I still got a chance at this pot now at 270 million. I am feelin lucky.

law school has now become my backup plan

Monday, February 18, 2008

Can watching TV be considered a hobby?

No evening paralegal classes or lsat prep classes and working 10-6pm = lots of TV watching. This is the first time in years I haven't been in school part -time for something and my inner TV addict has come out in full force. We gave up our cable a long time ago because I wanted to save money. We had an antenna and netflix so at the time it was enough. But we didn't really use the netflix that much. I was always putting documentaries in the que that I thought sounded interesting but then come Friday night I was out picking up a pizza and whatever latest new release was at blockbuster. My husband also used the netflix queue to put in obscure Korean 1950s cult movies that he complained that he was never able to watch because the TV was always occupied. So needless to say over netflix movies sat on our DVD player collecting dust. Lately my blockbuster card has gotten a ridiculous amount of use but I can't bring myself to join anything of theirs because I actually dislike blockbuster but it is the only movie place close to our house. My husband called me out last week pointing out all the debit charges and gave me a 3 choice ultimatum netflix, cable tv or blockbuster's club. After a lot of thought (an embarrassing amount of thought) I choose Direct TV with DVR. It comes on Friday. Last night my husband and I were falling asleep on the couch watching a Nova special on the Parthenon it was fascinating but we were pooped after chasing munchkin all day. I could have taped it, we do have a recordable DVD player but it takes for ever to set it up and if takes more than a couple of button pushes on the remote it is just too much for me. I feel a major addiction coming on.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Monday Blahs

To say I have a case of the Monday Blahs would be an understatment. I have been at work for 2 hours and have not done one work related thing. I decided that after years of trying to disprove the "you have to play to win" lottery theory that I probably would have better luck if I bought a ticket. This is my third drawing. I am hopeful because no one has won my money and it is now up to $150,000,000. I have some rules. I only play if the jackpot is over $70,000,000 ( if you are going to dream you should dream big) and I only spend $2. I am not sure what this says about me but if I won I would still go to law school (without the worry about loans or grades).

Friday, February 8, 2008


June will be my month, really! I can feel it. My last practice test was a 160 and it was just too close for comfort. I would be happy with a 160 on the real thing. That is why I want to be scoring a solid 165. In the meantime I am really examing what I hope to do with a law degree and I am begining to lean heavily towards a dual degree, JD and MA in public policy. Also I am having pre-op testing right now for weight loss surgery which I will detail on another blog. But I am still plugging along and my dream of going to law school is alive and well.

Friday, February 1, 2008


I was asked about my work recently and it inspired this post. I work at one of the mega global firms. However I am on a team, so even though the law firm has thousands of lawyers and over 40 just at this office I only really work with maybe 6 (at most) on regular basis. I am a project assistant also called case assistant (at some places) it's the equivalent of being a jr. paralegal. I work in transactional law so over 90% of the paralegal classes I took (I just recently got my certificate) have no relevance whatsoever to what I do but they were still a good foundation. I like transactional work because of the pace. Now that I have family I like knowing I will be at home for dinner every night. There are deadlines and sometimes there is pressure but defiantly not as intense as litigation. They often work until 11pm every night whenever a trial is coming up. I miss the adrenaline rush of being so busy sometimes, but I think for the most part I am happier doing this.

As far as paralegal work goes, it can get boring I do the same things over and over especially at my level. One of the downsides of working at this kind of place is you are competing with summer and first year associates for low level substantive work which means I do a lot of work that is not substantive. But I would not go back to a small firm, maybe mid level but not small. Small firms just can not compete with the pay and benefits of a larger place. The way to get the good work at a big firm as a paralegal is to become a specialist. The specialists I work with are considered experts in a certain area of the types of transactions we do. They do work that even 3rd or 4th year attorneys do and they bill as much as a starting associate but they have been doing it for 10 plus years. They make around 100,000 a year but associates make 190,000 minimum with bonus and they know squat, but that is how it works. That being said we have more than our fair share of bitter paralegals, it does work to inspire me to go to law school because I see my future everyday. I don't want to be bitter.

I would recommend to anyone who is interested in law and/or thinks they want to go to law school to become a paralegal. It is a great way to test the waters and make sure that is what they want. You meet all kinds of lawyers and see exactly what they do. Also I know a couple of paralegals who have been promised jobs if they go to law school even if it is not a top tier school. Although very rare it is possible to break in that way.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Oh right the LSAT

I went to the library for a long overdue practice test today. It was
like going to the gym after skipping for months and then trying to do a
full 2 hour workout with weights AND high impact aerobics . In the
fourth section I thought I was going to die. Forget about even throwing
in an extra section for the experimental. I barely and I mean barely eeeked out a 160. The test is next Saturday and I am 90% sure that if I take it I will end up cancelling the score unless it feels unusually
easy and I finish all the sections. My wild card is games and to a
lessor extent reading comp. If the games happen to be ones that are
easier for me I can get into the low 160s if I struggle with more than
one game I am in trouble and drop to the high 150s. I have someone who
is great that will charge me 70 an hour for tutoring but that is still
a lot of money for us. I wouldn't be able to do that until after we get our tax
refund. I am going to take another test tomorrow and take some sections on
the train to and from work and on my lunch breaks this week. June is
not that far away, I was just hoping to get it over with.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Back from the EDGE

Yes I did it. I fell prey and became a victim of my environment or as another paralegal put it "I drank the Kool-aid". No I did not see myself driving a BMW, wearing Gucci shoes, or vacationing in the Bahamas but I did see that $160,000 to start and $30-80,000 in bonus and think damn if I could get even close to that! I saw a nice house in a nice family neighborhood (and in So. Cal. that's $800,000- 1 million), a new car, private school for my monkey, and vacations (but it didn't have to be 4 star island vacations).

I had to snap myself out of it and come back to reality, when the reality is if I look around I see a bunch of depressed, workaholics, who think the packages they get everyday from mail order/Internet shopping make them happy. I see their faces every time their phones ring, the look of dread because they hate their clients. My office world is another planet, it is obscene! You could feed a family in Africa (a large family) for a year off the retail value of the purses alone that are in this office. This place is not me and I am glad. I just need to remind myself of that. I am the sole supporter of my family right now and this place is allowing for that, but it is not forever. Monkey will get older and be in school, husband will graduate and hopefully be employed as an engineer and I can spend more time doing good instead of doing evil by proxy.

I going to a wrongful conviction symposium in a couple of weeks and I am very excited! I need to be reminded of why I was drawn to the law in the first place. I want to look into public interest scholarships because these fancy firms are just not for me!

Friday, January 18, 2008


I am seriously considering postponing the LSAT test again. The school which is my number one (realistically) still averages scores and I don't feel consistent enough (i.e. I am scared)

Our kitchen remodel is chugging along and I am very excited to have kitchen cabinets again, after 2 plus years of not.

Work is as boring as ever and I finally got an answer on my raise, it will take effect Jun. 1.

We have entered into the "adventures in toilet training". She is fascinated with the process but has yet to actually pee pee in the potty as of yet.

Husband is cruising along through his classes, still all As and he goes 2 days a week now and watches monkey the other 3 days (cutting our daycare bill in half yay!!!)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Not much new

Not much new to report. Baby is not really a baby anymore she turned two at the end of December. She talking in sentences and we are about to begin adventures in potty training. She continues to amaze us everyday.

I dipped down in LSAT practice score to 160 and I am seriously considering postponing until June. I don't want to wait too long because it is all fresh in my head but I am not going to start till at least 2009 and I really really really want a 160 ++ .

Thursday, January 3, 2008


Hillary is my girl. I just can't help it. I want to see a woman President finally elected. I even gave $10.00 to her campaign and entered a contest to have lunch with her. Sure she is a Demopublican and she is established establishment, but I buy into her the same way I bought into Bill. There is something about those two that make me believe they truly care about the people who need it the most. I see fresh idealism and energy in Barack but Hilary is someone I would want for a Mom. She just oozes compassion they way only woman and moms do.

And that is what is has come down to for Democrats like myself, popularity, who you think can win and who you think you would most want to have over to your house. Because when it comes down to it they are all the same candidate (the big 3) their "plans" for America are virtually identical. Honestly I would be more than trilled to see any one them as President. If another evangelical republican wins I am seriously moving to Canada.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008


I am obsessed with the LSAT. After my 164, which I convinced myself was a fluke, I panicked and tried to take another test but had to score myself after each section and then guesstimate the highest score I could get. After a couple of individual sections of this. I realized how crazy I am and I gave up on trying to repeat it this weekend. I will try again next weekend at the library (the library was closed this last weekend) and copy the test out of my book and leave the answers at home.

On a side note my father has really latched on to the idea of me going to law school. Up until a few years ago we ahead a strained relationship at best. We repaired our relationship a few years ago. Now he is so proud, a different proud than when I graduated from my teacher preparation program or talked about going to get my MA in Psychology. He shared with my husband that his big regret in life is not going to school, he feels he didn't really accomplish much in life. I think a lawyer to him is really being something. I am the first one in my family to get my BA, my grandfather on my father's side was a coal miner in West Virgina who died before I was even born. He doesn't understand when I say that if I don't get a good enough score I won't go to law school because I would probably make more being a paralegal at my fancy pants law firm than a lawyer from a low tier school. To him it's just being a lawyer. I wonder if it's just pride because I have worked with such snobby lawyers that I won't consider anything other then a tier 1? Hmmm.